Man Admits Feeding Pregnant Ex-girlfriend Abortion Drug In Smoothie, Causing Her To Miscarry

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A 26-year-old man from Norway is facing seven years in jail after feeding his ex-girlfriend, who was pregnant with his child, a smoothie laced with an abortion drug.

Antibaby-smoothieThe pair had a short relationship and a child together already, but were no longer together when they met at a party and  decided to scrump. This resulted in the woman getting pregnant with his second child and the man suffering from some serious post bang regret.

“He tried several times to convince me to have an abortion but it was not an option for me,” the woman told the court in Trondheim.

Feeling that he had no way out, the man researched abortive medications and purchased the drugs online. He gave the woman the pills under the guise that they were over-the-counter pain killers. His first attempt was unsuccessful and evident at a pregnancy check-up which showed the baby was still developing. He freaked knowing that if a developing child were exposed to these drugs they could be born with severe deformities.

“I read online that pills could cause deformities if they did not work,” he told the court. “I thought that if it was my fault that the child was born with major malformations, and I would not be able to live with that.”

The dickhole then purchased more abortion drugs and made the girl a delicious smoothie chock full of them. After drinking it she experienced extreme abdominal cramping which resulted in her miscarrying her baby later that evening. The woman then went to her doctor and was found to have high levels of the drugs in her system.

The man was arrested and has since pleaded guilty to both inflicting serious bodily harm and terminating a pregnancy without the mother’s consent. He is facing a 7-year sentence for his crimes and addressed the court showing remorse, “I felt like a total shitbag when it dawned on me what I had done.”

Now Introducing ….. Krispy Kreme Bacon Hotdog Donut With Raspberry Jam

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Normally I like to keep my sweet foods segregated from my salty foods. It’s one of my things. One of the few exceptions I make to this rule is dipping my breakfast sausage into syrup, that is some fine eatin’ right there. Krispy Kreme and single-A baseball team the Wilmington Blue Rocks have a food concoction that I might make another exception to my segregation rule for.

bacon-hotdog-donut

This hot dog is crammed inside a Krispy Kreme donut and topped with bacon. Bacon really makes everything better.The hot dog as it’s called looks more like a small sausage to me, which would make more sense. Toss one of those breakfast sausages into this thing and I’m all in. The image also looks like the dog is slathered in raspberry jelly.

If the snack item is popular at the ballpark, it might find its way into the Krispy Kreme stores around the country.

Dicks by Mail, A Service That Anonymously Mails an Edible ‘Bag of Dicks’ to Your Enemies

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Unknown1Dicks by Mail is a new service that will anonymously mail a bag of penis-shaped gummy candy along with a note that reads in bold type “EAT A BAG OF DICKS” to anyone the buyer chooses, much like the popular Ship Your Enemies Glitter service. More information about the service, including suggestions for recipents and how to send a mouthful of phallic sweets to your target, is available at their hilarious FAQ, though they don’t answer the question of whether a hard candy version will be made available.

We have a long history of sending dicks to people. Starting in middle school with those folded notes, that unfold to a big veiny cock. Moving to texting ‘8===D’ to random people in high school all the way to snapchatting below the belt pics to ladies from the bar/church. But now it’s on to bigger and better things; now it’s on to Dicks by Mail.

Man ‘put genitals through friend’s letterbox’

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A MAN has appeared in court accused of dangling his genitals though a friend’s door.

Graeme Swan is alleged to have exposed himself to another man by placing his penis through the man’s letterbox.

Swan, 33, is then said to have committed a sex act on himself while standing in the communal hallway of the property at Viewcraig Gardens, during an alleged incident in December.

Swan, from Edinburgh, is also accused of failing to inform police officers of a change in address within three days in June last year after being placed on the sex offenders’ register nine years ago.

He appeared at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on Wednesday, where he denied the allegations.

Man’s girlfriend and ex-partner jump into river to see who he’ll rescue

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A CONFUSED boyfriend was faced with a tricky choice after both his ex and current girlfriend threw themselves into a river to see who he would rescue.

168078-23f0738a-cdc6-11e4-a028-65bfa3bc1db2Wu Hsia, 21, had broken up with long-term girlfriend Jun Tang, 20, after meeting new love Rong Tsao, 22, in Ningbo city in east China’s Zhejiang province.

But over the following three months, jilted Jun kept hassling him to get back with her and pressuring Rong to leave him.

Eventually, Wu decided to arrange a meeting between the three of them at a nearby park next to a river.

“I was sick of being nagged from both sides,” he said.

“Rong was moaning about Jun and Jun was moaning about her and it all go too much.

“I became confused about who I wanted so I thought it would be best if we all met and talked about it.”

But when they got to the river, the situation went from bad to worse.

Jealous … Wu’s ex-girlfriend, in red, with his brother emerge from the water covered in mud. Picture: AustralscopeSource: australscope

“The girls began arguing and then Jun flipped and jumped off the bridge and straight into the water.

“She was calling for help but then Rong also leapt over saying it was her or my ex.

“I was completely dumbfounded about what was going on.

“But then I realised that I had to do something so I also jumped in but to save Rong.”

After dragging the soaking wet girl ashore, Wu phoned his brother to rescue the floundering ex before taking Rong home.

Meanwhile Wu’s brother called the fire brigade who arrived at the scene and helped Jun out of the water.

“She was taken to hospital but was released soon after without any major injuries,” a hospital spokesman said.

“I was put in a difficult situation and had to make a choice between right and wrong,” Wu admitted.

“And I chose Rong.”

Woman charging £20 for human placenta smoothies investigated by health officials

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Public health officials are investigating a woman who blends human placenta into smoothies for new mothers.

SmoothieKathryn Beale, 41, charges £20 to mothers who supply their own placenta so she can concoct the special elixir by mixing it with fruit and juices.

She travels to the mother to collect the placenta and uses a piece of about 8cm for each drink.

However, she this week found herself on the wrong side of Swindon Borough Council after it applied for a “hygiene emergency prohibition order” to stop her.

The order was refused but Miss Beale has now voluntarily stopped making smoothies, pending a visit from health officials to inspect hygiene standards.

“I understand that they have to make sure that all food business are running safely,” she said.

“I think they have been a bit overzealous in trying to shut me down without doing a full inspection. I believe that I do it safely.”

Other services she offers include drying out the remaining placenta before grinding it down into powder and making it into capsules, which can be swallowed later.

The standard encapsulation service costs £150 while she charges an extra £20 for the smoothie and £60 for a heart-shaped umbilical cord keepsake set in resin.

She added: “I do about two a month and nationwide there is another 50 or so encapsulators offering similar services to myself.

“I have been doing it two years but certainly since I have been doing it has been quite popular.

“There is no eating of anyone else’s placenta. It is all quite tightly controlled, stored properly and chilled.

“Everything has to be cleaned and sterilised and there is quite strict hygiene involved.

“I only prepare placenta smoothies when I am with the mother in her home or at her private hospital room because she needs to drink it straight away.”

A Swindon Borough Council spokeswoman said: “We can confirm public protection officers attended court on March 10 seeking a hygiene emergency prohibition order in respect of raw human placenta practices.

“The order was not granted on this occasion. Our investigations continue and we are therefore unable to comment further at this stage.

“Whilst the health benefits of this activity are not clear, the processes involved in the production of human placenta for human consumption present a number of potentially serious health risks which explains this action.”

104-year-old woman shares her secret: 3 cans of Dr. Pepper a day

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EK5EQ.So.58Elizabeth Sullivan of Forth Worth, Texas, says she has one doctor to thank for her long life — Dr. Pepper.

Sullivan tells KTVT she fell in love with the soft drink’s trademark “23 flavors” when she was in her sixties.

“Every doctor that sees me says they’ll kill you, but they die and I don’t. So there must be a mistake somewhere,” she said.

For her 104th birthday, Sullivan was surprised with a Dr. Pepper-shaped caked and a gift basket straight from the CEO of Dr. Pepper  Snapple Group Inc., Larry Young

“When you live to be 104 and still can talk to nice people, you deserve some Dr. Pepper, but I never expected this,” she told KTVT.