Break-In Suspect Dresses As Teletubby, Allegedly Steals Chinese Food In Man Purse

0

The season of people dressing up in costumes and allegedly committing stupid crimes is upon us.

n-TELETUBBY-STEALS-FOOD-largePennsylvania police arrested a break-in suspect dressed in a yellow Teletubbycostume over the weekend. The man, who is not identified, reportedly broke into his friend’s house after a Halloween party and stole Chinese food.

A Bethlehem Police report obtained by the Smoking Gun states that the man raided the fridge, “dumped [the food] in his man purse” and fled.

Cops caught up with the dashing diner later on in the evening. His friend declined to press charges for the door he broke.

The yellow Teletubby is called Laa-Laa. She is not known to carry a purse, but her associate, Tinky Winky (the purple one) often carried one in the children’s show.

Unfortunately, Tinky Winky has also been known to pack heat. A Canadian woman said she was robbed on Halloween 2009 by an armed bandit dressed in a purple Teletubby costume. He held the victim up with a handgun and took off with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Police state that man found bound, gagged, and stuffed in a sleeping bag is the worst case of suicide they’ve seen in quite some time

0

A MAN whose body was found bound and gagged in a sleeping bag in his shed was a simple, happy person who fixed cars and loved life.

143727-f5eda3b6-5e6e-11e4-919b-767a5a42ab7cAn inquest today into the bizarre death of disability pensioner Karl Robert Wright, 43, in July, 2013, has heard he had no worries, helped everyone and was always keen for a cuppa.

Police have ruled the whiz mechanic killed himself – binding his own hands in cable ties, covering his head in a balaclava and wrapping a rag and cling film over his mouth.

His mother Paula Wright found his clothed body on a mattress in a shed on their Sunshine Coast property, with his feet protruding from a zipped sleeping bag.

Karl’s brother Byron told the inquest in Maroochydore he did not think it was possible for Karl to have done that to himself and then wriggled head first into the bag.

Each wrist was cable tied, and a third tie linked the two on his hands into a praying position.

The cling wrap was so tight over his mouth it sunk between his lips, however his nose was uncovered.

“My instincts say he was murdered,” said Byron.

Ms Wright said Karl sometimes passed out at the sight of blood or other frights and she believed that may have contributed to his death.

“I think he was frightened and he was so frightened that he passed out and something has happened to him after that,” she said.

The inquest heard Karl, who had a minor intellectual disability, had no secrets. He was close to his mum who made his bed daily and cleaned his room.

Although he couldn’t read or write, he didn’t mind as he had made a life going to the aid of people with car troubles – even strangers on the roadside.

He had no anxieties about money or relationships, no other stresses and didn’t own a computer.

He had an active social life, visiting neighbours sometimes three times a day, didn’t drink or take drugs, refusing even to use Panadol.

Ms Wright last saw him alive when she bade him goodnight on 28 July, 2013, as he watched one of his favourite English shows in the living room.

“He told me he was going to finish the show and was going to bed,” she said.

“That was the last time I saw him alive.”

The next morning, after feeding the chooks and horses, Mrs Wright tried to rouse Karl but found his bedroom door unusually locked from the inside.

She went outside and saw the bedroom window ajar and the fly screen removed and leaning against the house.

“In a panic I opened the window and climbed in,” she said. There was bark on the floor around the bed and wardrobe but no sign of Karl.

After a quick search outside Ms Wright went to the shed, which also was unusually locked, and made a horrifying discovery.

“There was a mattress on the floor and a green sleeping bag and feet sticking out,” she said.

“I knew it was him by the socks.

“I walked over and touched the sleeping bag. It felt like it was stiff.”

Karl’s aunt Ruth Gould, 56, said the sleeping bag was “very straight”, and did not look like it had been shuffled into.

The inquest heard the gag cloth was a scrap of rag from a collection Karl used during repairs.

The cable ties also appeared to be his own.

Byron told the inquest the mattress bore faeces and urine, and police told him to burn it “because they didn’t need it”.

He found more scraps of material twisted into rope and cable ties and cling wrap in the incinerator.

Ms Gould, 56, said she did not think police had investigated thoroughly enough before concluding suicide.

“I just don’t think they spoke to enough people. I feel that we had to push for them to speak to people,” she said.

“I myself got the impression that there wasn’t a huge investigation.”

Teacher Calls Cops To Report That Student, 5, Again “Groped Her In The Vagina”

0

A Florida teacher called cops to report that a five-year-old student had again “groped her in the vagina,” according to a police report.

The educator told investigators that it was the second time the boy, a student at the Blanche H. Daughtrey Elementary School in Bradenton, had grabbed her. She contacted police to document the child’s behavior, which the woman said had “escalated” and “become aggressive and vulgar the past 2 weeks.”

While the boy is not identified in the report, he is likely a kindergartner at the school, which runs through the fifth grade. According to its web site, the school prepares students for “academic success and life as responsible citizens.”

No charges were filed in connection with the reported October 9 groping.

Homeland Security goes on panty raid

0

Peregrine Honig says she just wanted to help celebrate the hometown team when she designed Lucky Royals boyshorts.

birdieskcThe panties, with “Take the Crown” and “KC” across the rear, were set to be sold in Honig’s Birdies Panties shop Monday. But Homeland Security agents visited the Crossroads store and confiscated the few dozen pairs of underwear, printed in Kansas City by Lindquist Press.

“They came in and there were two guys” Honig said. “I asked one of them what size he needed and he showed me a badge and took me outside. They told me they were from Homeland Security and we were violating copyright laws.”

She thought that since the underwear featured her hand-drawn design, she was safe. But the officers explained that by connecting the “K” and the “C,” she infringed on major league baseball copyright. (The officials involved could not be immediately reached for comment.)

They placed the underwear in an official Homeland Security bag and had Honig sign a statement saying she wouldn’t use the logo.

“We just thought it was something funny we could do,” Honig says of the panties. “But it was so scary.”

Danielle Meister, Honig’s shop partner, says it was like something out of the movies, with the badges and all. But on the bright side, the officers were nice. She says you could tell “they felt like they were kicking a puppy.”

We might not be able to wear Lucky Royals boyshorts from Birdies, but you can still buy a pair of crown-inspired pasties if you’re feisty.

Shocking hospital x-ray shows man with bottle stuck inside him

0

Eye-watering images released by a hospital in China show a man with a bottle lodged in his anus.

A-X-ray-image-showing-a-bottle-in-a-mans-anus

The stomach-churning pictures reveal in excruciating detail the plight of a 60-year-old from Zhuhai, in the Guangdong Province of China.

The desperate patient, who has not been named, claimed he was suffering from constipation and tried to stimulate himself with the bottle, doctors said.

Having stuffed the whole object inside, he was then unable to remove it.

This x-ray image went viral after being shared by colleagues in the hospital – luckily for the elderly man, his personal details have been kept hidden.

Man Explains Why He Cut Off His Penis (NSFW)

0

WARNING: The content and images in this story may be offensive to some readers.

n-NULLO-large570A man who goes by the name of “Gelding” recently opened up about why he decided to cut his penis and testicles off and become a “nullo.” That is, a man who has removed his sex organ.

You can see a NSFW photo of Gelding at the bottom of this story.

“The average person of both sexes will think I’m unbalanced,” Gelding told The Huffington Post in an email. “[That's] their laymen’s knee-jerk reaction.”

Before he was able to get his penis removed, Gelding said, he had to have several consultations with a doctor.

“In my case, my psychologist took me through a number of long dialogue sessions and a full battery of personality tests to develop a formal profile,” Gelding said. “His finding was that I’d be better off in a ‘whole person’ view after having my penis removed. That was sufficient to sway a urologist to agree to do the procedure. More harm would result in the long term from not doing the procedure than doing it.”

In an interview with Gawker, Gelding explains what people often misunderstand about “nullos” and what the advantages and drawbacks are of joining this club.

On why he decided to have his testicles removed …

I had a baby face in high school, there was one of these bullies and he said “you have a man’s equipment but you’re still a boy” and he squeezed my balls in the shower. He was on the football team, I was on the soccer team showering together and he said “you shouldn’t have such big equipment” so he squeezed my balls and at that point it was just a fantasy for me. So how about getting rid of them for some reason?

On the drawbacks …

One of the most obvious cons is I have to sit to pee, or I have to use one of these female urination devices. It’s an odd funnel shaped device that you can use if there’s only a men’s urinal. Also, sometimes I get urinary tract infections. There’s a shorter path to the bladder through what I’ve got now. So I’ve got to be very careful and keep it clean.

On the benefits …

… my mood has improved dramatically since going nullo. I don’t miss the baggage. I don’t miss the fact that I get into sex with a guy, he expects me to perform in some ways, now he doesn’t have that expectation. In fact, quite a few guys find it very arousing that they don’t have to have that distraction.

Read the entire interview here.

SF Weekly previously described Gelding as a “legendary figure in the eunuch subculture, where he acts as a kind of den mother for the genitally obsessed, someone to whom a man can turn when he decides the cojones need to go.” This was back in 2000, before Gelding had his penis removed in 2011.

As for why he did that, Gelding told Gawker it was ultimately sparked by a sports injury, but that he had thought about having it cut off before.

“For whatever reason I was always embarrassed by the size of what I had. It didn’t fit my personality.”

Gelding has also worked as a “cutter,” someone who castrates men looking to part with their testicles.

“One of the reasons why I am doing this is to help other guys avoid the problems,” Gelding told SF Weekly. “In that respect it is humanitarian. In another respect I will admit to a certain amount of sexual excitement from the whole idea.”

Others have opined on the positives of voluntary castration. In his book, “Castration: The Advantages and Disadvantages,” author Victor Cheney asserts that the surgery can increase life expectancy by thirteen years and improve the immune system.

Cheney, according to the book’s Amazon product description, is a retired U.S. Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who spent 25 years researching the surgery and had it done on himself after he contracted prostate cancer.

Below is an NSFW image of Gelding in his modified birthday suit:

 

 

 

original

Once again we remind you; when your drug deal goes bad don’t call the police

0

State troopers arrested four men in Wilton and Queensbury Saturday for marijuana possession, though they originally responded to a call making a different accusation.

Police said they got an anonymous call Saturday afternoon that an occupant of a car heading north on the Northway in Wilton was pointing a handgun at passing cars. Troopers found the car in Lake George shortly afterward, but no handgun.

Instead, occupants Stephen Ales, 28, and Michael Lilledahl, 44, both of Plattsburgh, were carrying about 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana they’d just stolen from a Wilton resident, police said. The two men allegedly arranged to buy the pot in Wilton, but fled before paying.

Police said they think the report that the two were menacing other drivers was made in retaliation for the theft.

Further investigation led police to a home at Timbira Drive in Wilton, where Jason Strainer, 32, and Peter Avramis, 28, were found with more than a pound of marijuana, troopers said.

Troopers said all four men were charged with felony criminal possession of marijuana; Strainer was also charged with felony criminal sale of marijuana. After their arraignments, Ales ($5,000 bail) and Lilledahl (no bail) were sent to Warren County Jail; Strainer ($20,000 bail) and Avramis ($15,000 bail) to Saratoga County Jail.