‘An Airplane Shit On Us,’ New Zealand Woman Claims

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The skies were looking pretty unfriendly for one New Zealand woman earlier this week.

n-AIRPLANE-LANDING-largeKaren Bass said she went out into her yard Sept. 28 and something smelled terrible.She said there was waste splattered all over her yard, her house, and her car.

“The first thing when I walked out of my door this morning and I saw it, I thought an airplane shit on us. You open the door and it smells like shit,” she told the Herald on Sunday. “I’m absolutely disgusted at the moment. The amount of crap everywhere is horrendous.”

Bass’ home lies directly along an Auckland International Airport flight path. She’s convinced that the excrement isn’t from birds or other animals, and has sent a sample of the mess to be independently tested.

Other residents told the newspaper that they’d been dumped on in the past as well, but the government’s Civil Aviation Authority denied it, blaming migrating ducks.

“I fought it hard, we got tests done that proved it was human matter and even at that point the CAA still kicked their heels in, they wouldn’t have a bar of it,” a dumping victim, who did not want to be named, told the paper.

Airplane waste has caused serious problems before. Last year, a British woman said a frozen chunk of mess crashed through the roof of her home and put a hole in the floor. Experts told SWNS that the frozen waste was likely caused by a leak on the plane.

The U.S.’s Federal Aviation Administration has its own term for frozen airplane waste. They call it “blue ice,” after the chemical that’s added to toilet water to help deodorize and break down waste.

While the agency acknowledges that leaks can occur, the official FAA stance is that the material most often dissipates before it hits the ground. Although the FAA investigates purported incidents of waste dumped from planes, they maintain that the culprit is usually migrating birds.

C*ck wear becomes cookware in latest Japanese cookbook

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Wonder what’s for dinner tonight? Your pantry is loaded and there are so many choices! Sometimes, you are just looking to utilize your favorite cooking apparatus. Let’s browse the cookbooks we have here. Everyone Screams for Tagine, Casserole Role Call, Fast Recipes for the Slow Cooker, Cooking with Condoms, wait, what? Yes, you heard us right, an actual cookbook available for your favorite e-book device. Leave it to the Japanese to use whatever they have lying around…

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Ok, so the book isn’t called Cooking with Condoms. It’s actually Condom Dishes I Want to Make for You and that isn’t a messy sex joke wrapped up in a book title. You can snag a copy of this fancy cookbook now from Amazon Japan. For 250 yen (US$2.30) you can make 11 different stuffed condom recipes which range from condom escargot in butter and curry pilaf to condom cookies and condom fruit parfaits.

Man charged with rape cleared due to sexsomnia

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A Swedish court has acquitted a man who sexually assaulted a woman while he was asleep because he was unaware of what he was doing.

CourtroomMikael Halvarsson was charged earlier this year with rape after having sex with a woman sleeping beside him.

The 26-year-old was charged with rape and sentenced to two years in prison, but appealed the sentence teliing Sweden’s Sundsvall Appeal Court he was completely asleep during the attack and had no intention of having sex.

In it’s judgement, the court found Halvarsson “was in a state of sleepiness, unconcious of what was happening.”

Halvarrson’s ex girlfriend also told the court Halvarsson had previously attempted to have sex with her while asleep.

A doctor specialising in sleep disorders said Halvarsson could suffer from sexsomnia, a condition that allows a person to have sex while completely asleep and unaware.

The condition is highly controversial among psychiatrists and the legal profession, and has not been heavily researched, but was described by the doctor in court as being similar to sleepwalking.

Sexsomnia as a defence against rape has been accepted in a small number of cases.

In 2007, a 38-year-old man was acquitted of rape charges after claiming he was asleep and did not know what he was doing, and in 2011 when a second man was freed from similar charges, despite having a previous conviction.

Man plagued by 100 orgasms a day

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Having 100 orgasms every day has ruined the life of Wisconsin man Dale Decker, who’s been left physically drained and isolated.

Decker’s bout with persistent genital arousal syndrome came about two years ago when he slipped a disc in his back falling from a chair.

While heading to the hospital he had five orgasms and they just keep coming, as many as 100 a day, according to the website UKNW.

None of which the married father of two boys enjoys.

“I was in line at the grocery store once and as I got to the front I dropped to my knees and had an orgasm,” UKNW quotes the former telecom company office manager.

“I was yelping. It was horrendous. When it was over I looked around and about 150 people all stood looking at me in disgust.”

Decker is pretty much confined to his Two Rivers home so he doesn’t experience one of his ongoing and “disgusting” orgasmic episodes in public.

“Imagine being at your father’s funeral, beside his casket, and you have nine orgasms,” he said. “There’s nothing pleasurable in it. You’re disgusted by it.”

UKNW reports Decker has no idea how he can get help so his rare syndome comes to a happy ending and he’s free from the humiliation.

The Dream Comes True: Pot-infused Pizza Sauce Comes To Marijuana Dispensaries

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Looks like the pizza industry is going to pot — literally.

o-PODEY-PIZZA-SAUCE-570L.A.-based Podey Pizza has started selling jars of pot-infused pizza sauce at marijuana dispensaries in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Washington State and Colorado.

Each 5-ounce jar of Podey Pizza sauce sells for $20 and contains 300mg of medical cannabis per jar, enough for one large pizza or two smaller ones, according to Steve Thomas, Podey Pizza’s vice president of operations.

“You can eat three slices and be fully medicated.”

Thomas believes his pot-laced pizza sauce is a good option for medical marijuana users who don’t to rely on sweets like candies and cookies to get their cannabis.

But getting there wasn’t easy.

“We spent a lot of time getting it right so the sauce didn’t taste ‘green,'” Thomas said. “We probably made 150-200 pizzas and would invite three or four people to try them. We even put ads looking for people who were 300 pounds plus to make sure the dosage was right.”

Thomas said the sauce is slightly sweet and uses tomatoes, mixed with cannabis-laced safflower oil.

“We may come out with a garlickly version or more of a butter sauce,” he said.

Podey Pizza is marketing itself as the world’s first pot-laced pizza sauce, but since Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana, a number of companies have been trying to make a lot of dough by selling pot-infused pizzas, and pizza products.

Stoned Oven Gourmet Mandibles, also based in Los Angeles, just started selling six-inch pot pizzas for $10 each.

Each pizza contains 250 mg of ethanol-extracted tetrahydrocannabinol, otherwise known as THC concentrate, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Best of all: The company will deliver its cannabis pizzas to stoners who live in the right neighborhoods.

Earlier this summer, Vancouver’s Mega ILL cafe made headlines by selling a “medicated pizza,” which is drizzled with oil extracted from weed before being cooked.

Pizza and pot may be a natural combination, but Thomas says to prevent legal issues, sales are currently limited to dispensaries.

However, the success of recreational pot in Colorado and Washington has Thomas dreaming of the day when he can sell to regular pizzerias.

He already has a customer in mind: Denver Broncos quarterback Payton Manning, who owns a few Papa John’s pizza franchises in Colorado and recently noticed the positive effects legalized pot was having on pizza sales.

“We would love to sell to Papa John’s,” Thomas laughed. “That’s the dream.”

Woman undergoes surgery to add third breast

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A US massage therapist has gone to extreme lengths to become a reality TV star, undergoing surgery to add a third breast to her chest.

The Florida woman, who goes by the name Jasmine Tridevil, said she spent $20,000 on the procedure a few months ago after finally finding a doctor willing to perform the operation.

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“I called 50 doctors,” Tridevil told Real Radio 104.1.

“It was really hard finding someone that would do it too because they’re breaking the code of ethics.”

Tridevil’s third breast was constructed in the middle of her chest with a silicone implant and skin tissue cut from her abdomen.

The surgeon was not able to make an artificial areola, so Tridevil had one tattooed on.

Tridevil, whose dream is to have her own MTV reality show, said her parents did not take the news of her third breast well.

“My mum ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad…he really isn’t happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said.

As well as hoping for fame and fortune, Tridevil said there was another major reason she had the surgery.

“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she said.

“Most guys would think [the extra breast is] weird and gross. But I can still feel pretty because if I wore makeup and cute clothes, I can still, you know… feel pretty.”

 

Administrators Probe “Rape” Photos Staged By Group Of Boys At Long Island High School

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commack1Administrators at a Long Island high school are investigating a group of male students who posed for photos appearing to make light of rape.

The images taken yesterday on the athletic field at Commack High School were posted to social media sites, where they were spotted by fellow students, many of whom were angered by the two pictures.

One of the photos (seen above) shows five boys wearing t-shirts that spell out “RAPE?” The second image shows the same quintet spelling out “RAPE.” In the foreground of the second shot (seen below), a sixth boy is on the ground with his hands bound, presumably portraying a victim.

In a statement, school officials said that the students “showed an inexcusable lack of judgment,” adding that they have launched a “comprehensive investigation to determine the full scope of this matter and whether or not this was an isolated incident.”

In a Twitter post yesterday, a female classmate of the boys wrote, “These assholes did this for senior class pictures today. Wait till they see me tomorrow.” She later added, “I don’t even want to enter the doors of Commack High School tomorrow or ever where there are people who find rape as a joke.”

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