Car Thief Gets Out Of Jail, Steals Another Vehicle

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After spending five months locked up for auto theft, a Washington state man was released from custody Wednesday afternoon and then promptly stole another vehicle from a supermarket parking lot two blocks from the jail, police allege.

matthewsUpon his release from the Whitman County jail, Kyle Matthews, 21, made his way on foot to Rosauer’s supermarket in Colfax, a city in the state’s southeast corner.

According to cops, Matthews hopped into a running 1972 Volvo and took off in the car. Responding to a stolen vehicle report, officers quickly intercepted the auto and initiated a traffic stop, according to probable cause affidavits.

Matthews, pictured above, bolted from the vehicle, but was eventually chased down by state trooper and arrested. He was returned to the county jail, where he is being held without bail for auto theft, possession of stolen property, attempting to elude, and other charges.

All told, Matthews enjoyed about 30 minutes of freedom.

Dopey crooks break into home to steal wad of cash – which turned out to be TISSUES

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UntitledDopey Michael Hogg, 33, and Andrew Wood, 28, thought they could commit an easy crime when they spotted the pile of ‘cash’ on a windowsill.

Thinking they had struck gold, Hogg then proceeded to smash the window of the home in Hartlepool while his partner Wood acted as a look out.

But the house owner was woken by their less-than-graceful entry and went downstairs to sort out the commotion.

He discovered the broken window and the packet of novelty tissues, which had been on the windowsill, lying on the floor.

Hogg and Wood were arrested soon after as they tried to flee the scene, thanks to an alert neighbour who had called the police.

The bumbling pair were jailed for more than seven years between them after they pleaded guilty to the burglary, which took place on August 5, at Teesside Crown Court.

Hogg, of Hartlepool, was jailed for three years and four months, while Wood, also of Hartlepool, was sentenced to three years and nine months.

Judge Simon Bourne-Arton said both were persistent criminals and the public needed to be protected from them.

He saw what he thought in his deprived state was money

Matthew Collins, mitigating

Matthew Collins, mitigating for Hogg, said: “It is an offence borne more out of stupidity than involving any significant planning.

“He saw what he thought in his deprived state was money. It turned out to be tissues which had a £50 note printed on it.

“He walked away feeling very stupid. He realises the effect it has had on the victim.”

Both Hogg and Wood have a long history of crime, with Hogg’s record including 40 convictions for 61 offences including other house burglaries.

Wood’s consisted of a staggering 73 convictions for 144 offences.

Ian Mullarkey, mitigating for Wood, said: “He was the lookout effectively. He played a secondary role.”

Judge Simon Bourne-Arton said: “Both of you have very bad records indeed.

“You are persistent offenders and it’s got to the stage with both your cases when the public are required to be protected from your offences.”

WATCH: Accused Shoplifter Stuffs Chainsaw Down Shorts

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Is that a chainsaw in your shorts or are you just excited for some Bizzare News?

o-BALLARD-570A Florida man is accused of shoplifting a chainsaw by stuffing the heavy machinery down his shorts and under his T-shirt, the TC Palm reports.

Footage of the incident posted by the newspaper to YouTube, shows the suspect, 28-year-old Anthony Ballard, as he appears to steal the chainsaw from Treasure Coast Lawn in Port St. Lucie. Ballard reportedly asked for change before attempting to conceal the tool.

The Palm Beach Post reports:

Ballard fled on a bicycle (which police later found was also stolen) before ditching the chainsaw in a vacant lot. A police search for him was unsuccessful, but a Treasure Coast Lawn employee found him and held him until police arrived.

Ballard was arrested and transported to the St. Lucie County Jail, according to WPTV. He was charged with grand theft.

Walmart Worker, 18, Caught Using, Then Returning Old Spice Deodorant Sticks To Store Shelves

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Not every teenager working at a big box retailer is as dreamy as Alex from Target.

crobertsAn 18-year-old Walmart employee who used Old Spice deodorant sticks before returning them to store shelves is facing an embezzlement probe after admitting he swiped more than $1800 in merchandise from a South Carolina store.

Store security began monitoring Chandler Roberts after he was filmed taking milk and cookies–which he had not purchased–into a break room,according to a police report.

When confronted about his actions, Roberts “admitted to stealing several items,” and later “returned numerous stolen items to asset protection” officials. Walmart calculated that the purloined goods were worth $1823.25.

More importantly, as noted by cops, Roberts was twice videotaped “selecting a stick of Old Spice deodorant,” which he proceeded to apply while in the store’s bedding department. On both occasions, the teen then returned the toiletry item to a store shelf. Cops did not address whether the used deodorant ended up being purchased by a customer.

Police are continuing to investigate the Walmart thefts.

Mom Burglarizes Cars At School, Claims She’s Looking For ISIS: Police

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Apparently, there’s growing concern that the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria could attack the United States from within — cops just don’t believe that terrorists will start by hiding in cars on Mississippi school property.

n-ISIS-largeThat allegedly didn’t stop Lisa Carol Roche from using ISIS as an alibi. The Hurley woman is accused of burglarizing cars in the parking lot of her children’s school, then telling officers that she was “looking for ISIS terrorists,” according to Gulf Live.

Roche, 41, was allegedly caught stealing sunglasses and other items from cars at East Central High School, FOX 10 reports. She remained in Jackson County Adult Detention Center Friday.

She’s been charged previously with careless driving, felony fraud and felony embezzlement. She faces up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine if convicted of commercial burglary.

Gawker points out that it’s unclear whether she’ll be questioned about her terrorist intel in court.

Motivated Cops Chase Down Oregon Man Who Stole Pastry-Packed Donut Land Delivery Van

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After leading police on a two-mile chase, an Oregon man who stole a delivery van packed with doughnuts pulled the vehicle over and placed his hands out the window as a pastry fell from his grip, according to cops.

johansen0930The 2004 Chevrolet Astro van was stolen around 2 AM today when its driver stopped to make a delivery in Portland. The vehicle is owned by Donut Land, a business headquarted in Tualatin, a Portland suburb.

Investigators allege that Peter Leon Johansen, 34, got into the unlocked vehicle and drove off. But soon after the van was boosted, a cop spotted the vehicle and gave chase.

Johansen eventually pulled over and complied with an officer’s demands to put his hands out the van’s window. “The suspect put his hands out the window and the officer observed a pastry fall from the suspect’s hand,” according to a Portland Police Bureau report.

Pictured above, Johansen was arrested and charged with stealing the van and fleeing from police. He was booked into the Multnomah County jail, where he is locked up in lieu of $15,000 bail.

While the Donut Land vehicle was not damaged during the chase, “there were donuts all over the inside of the van,” investigators noted. It is unlear whether cops had to impound any of the pastries for evidentiary purposes.

Man Accused Of Trading Stolen $160,000 Diamond For $20 Of Weed

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Accusations like this can really harsh a dude’s mellow.

n-DIAMOND-WEED-large300A former UPS employee in Arizona is accused of stealing a package containing a $160,000 diamond and trading it for $20 worth of weed, ABC-15 reports.

Walter Earl Morrison, 20, thought that the package he allegedly swiped while unloading cargo at Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix contained cash, according to a probable cause statement obtained by The Smoking Gun. In fact, the package contained one pricey stone.

Authorities say the “half-baked bandit” traded the diamond for the equivalent of two joints of marijuana.

The diamond was later recovered and returned to its intended recipient.