Adult toy store security guard clobbers suspected robber with machete


A security guard used a machete to subdue a robber Friday night in a wild holdup attempt at an adult toy store, according to police.

nhmrga-adultstoreThe incident happened around 11:15 p.m. at the Couples Mega Outlet in the 900 block of South Euclid, Anaheim police Lt. Bob Dunn said.

A man armed with a hammer attempted to rob the business, said Dunn. A security guard intervened and got into a fight with the would-be robber.

During the brawl the robber grabbed a glass pipe and struck the security guard in the head, Dunn said. Meanwhile, the security guard retrieved a machete nearby and clobbered the suspected robber once in the head.

Police detained the man, who was transported by ambulance to a hospital where he was receiving treatment for a head wound Saturday night and remained under guard by an Anaheim officer. He was arrested on suspicion of robbery but his name has not been released, Dunn said.

The security guard had minor injuries and was treated at the scene. Dunn said he is not facing any charges.

“Black Jesus” Blamed For Handing Out Funny Money As Christmas Gift


Restaurant patrons caught trying to pay a bill with counterfeit currency told Florida police that they apparently had received the fake paper as a Christmas gift from “Black Jesus.”

blackjAfter enjoying a January 1 seafood dinner at a Long John Silver’s in Bradenton, a customer sought to pay for his group’s meal with a counterfeit bill, according to a police report. However, an alert cashier recognized the phony currency and called cops.

When Deputy Sinclair Cason arrived at the eatery around 9:15 PM and questioned the customers, they were “cooperative and were unaware of the authenticity of the currency.”

During further questioning, they told Cason that “apparently the bill was given to them as a gift for Christmas from an individual” known to them as “Black Jesus.”

The phony bill was seized by Cason and booked into evidence. The Long John Silver’s customers–who denied knowing that the bill was fake–were not charged in connection with the counterfeit currency. The restaurant tab apparently was settled with legal tender.

The police report does not further describe the relationship between the diners and “Black Jesus,” or why “Black Jesus” was giving them cash for Christmas. Nor does it offer a physical description of “Black Jesus.” Though a beard seems likely.

USPS worker steals cash and gift cards from 2000 pieces of mail. “I was bored”


A Detroit-area postal employee is accused of stealing as many as 2,000 pieces of mail, pocketing any cash and dumping the leftovers along Interstate 94.

635536699348370017-uspsFederal authorities say that Sharon Berrien told them she stole the mail out of boredom. It was mostly greeting cards.

Berrien was charged Monday with stealing mail while working at a Detroit mail processing center.

Investigators say she told them that the thefts began last spring.

The probe started in October when mail was found along Pelham Road and I-94 and given to the Taylor postmaster.

On Nov. 21, 800 pieces were found in Berrien’s trash. Three bags were inside in a closet.

Berrien says she kept $1,000 to $1,500. She didn’t immediately return a phone message seeking comment on the criminal case Monday.

“I was bored,” she told investigators when they asked for the reason she stole the mail. She said she didn’t have any financial problems.

New Jersey police on the hunt for the Garden State Breast Pump Thief


New Jersey cops are seeking the public’s help in identifying the Garden State Breast Pump Thief.

breastpumptheftEarlier this month, the male suspect exited a Burlington Coat Factory store with three Medela Freestyle breast pumps for which he did not pay. The man fled on foot with the lactation aids worth a combined $1000.

As he raced away, the man, seen in the above store surveillance photo, left the breast pumps behind. Police believe the suspect is connected to a white SUV.

The middle-aged man, who was wearing a dark hoodie during the attempted December 1 heist at the store in Brick Township, is also a suspect in a breast pump theft at a Burlington Coat Factory store in Freehold, a nearby Jersey Shore town.

Members of the public are asked to contact the Brick Township Police Department at (732) 262-1100 if they recognize the breast pump purloiner.

Car Thief Gets Out Of Jail, Steals Another Vehicle


After spending five months locked up for auto theft, a Washington state man was released from custody Wednesday afternoon and then promptly stole another vehicle from a supermarket parking lot two blocks from the jail, police allege.

matthewsUpon his release from the Whitman County jail, Kyle Matthews, 21, made his way on foot to Rosauer’s supermarket in Colfax, a city in the state’s southeast corner.

According to cops, Matthews hopped into a running 1972 Volvo and took off in the car. Responding to a stolen vehicle report, officers quickly intercepted the auto and initiated a traffic stop, according to probable cause affidavits.

Matthews, pictured above, bolted from the vehicle, but was eventually chased down by state trooper and arrested. He was returned to the county jail, where he is being held without bail for auto theft, possession of stolen property, attempting to elude, and other charges.

All told, Matthews enjoyed about 30 minutes of freedom.

Dopey crooks break into home to steal wad of cash – which turned out to be TISSUES

UntitledDopey Michael Hogg, 33, and Andrew Wood, 28, thought they could commit an easy crime when they spotted the pile of ‘cash’ on a windowsill.

Thinking they had struck gold, Hogg then proceeded to smash the window of the home in Hartlepool while his partner Wood acted as a look out.

But the house owner was woken by their less-than-graceful entry and went downstairs to sort out the commotion.

He discovered the broken window and the packet of novelty tissues, which had been on the windowsill, lying on the floor.

Hogg and Wood were arrested soon after as they tried to flee the scene, thanks to an alert neighbour who had called the police.

The bumbling pair were jailed for more than seven years between them after they pleaded guilty to the burglary, which took place on August 5, at Teesside Crown Court.

Hogg, of Hartlepool, was jailed for three years and four months, while Wood, also of Hartlepool, was sentenced to three years and nine months.

Judge Simon Bourne-Arton said both were persistent criminals and the public needed to be protected from them.

He saw what he thought in his deprived state was money

Matthew Collins, mitigating

Matthew Collins, mitigating for Hogg, said: “It is an offence borne more out of stupidity than involving any significant planning.

“He saw what he thought in his deprived state was money. It turned out to be tissues which had a £50 note printed on it.

“He walked away feeling very stupid. He realises the effect it has had on the victim.”

Both Hogg and Wood have a long history of crime, with Hogg’s record including 40 convictions for 61 offences including other house burglaries.

Wood’s consisted of a staggering 73 convictions for 144 offences.

Ian Mullarkey, mitigating for Wood, said: “He was the lookout effectively. He played a secondary role.”

Judge Simon Bourne-Arton said: “Both of you have very bad records indeed.

“You are persistent offenders and it’s got to the stage with both your cases when the public are required to be protected from your offences.”

WATCH: Accused Shoplifter Stuffs Chainsaw Down Shorts


Is that a chainsaw in your shorts or are you just excited for some Bizzare News?

o-BALLARD-570A Florida man is accused of shoplifting a chainsaw by stuffing the heavy machinery down his shorts and under his T-shirt, the TC Palm reports.

Footage of the incident posted by the newspaper to YouTube, shows the suspect, 28-year-old Anthony Ballard, as he appears to steal the chainsaw from Treasure Coast Lawn in Port St. Lucie. Ballard reportedly asked for change before attempting to conceal the tool.

The Palm Beach Post reports:

Ballard fled on a bicycle (which police later found was also stolen) before ditching the chainsaw in a vacant lot. A police search for him was unsuccessful, but a Treasure Coast Lawn employee found him and held him until police arrived.

Ballard was arrested and transported to the St. Lucie County Jail, according to WPTV. He was charged with grand theft.