An 18-year-old girl from the Great Lakes region, who has chosen to remain anonymous, talked to New York Magazine about her two-year sexual relationship with her father.
Their relationship is an example of “genetic sexual attraction” or GSA, a term that describes the strong romantic and sexual feelings experienced when adopted children reconnect with their biological relatives as adults.
The odds of a father-daughter experiencing GSA are rare, says Barbara Gonyo, the founder of Truth Seekers in Adoption. In 2003, she told The Guardian, “That group tends to stay very silent. It’s still regarded as dangerously close to abuse, even though it is no different from other forms of GSA.”
After being conceived on prom night, the teen says her parents stayed together for about six months before their relationship dissolved completely. Her father came back into her life around the time she was about 3 -or 4 years old for about a year, but then she didn’t hear from him until she was 15. Her mother received an email from him in which he expressed interest in getting to know his daughter again.
The two didn’t end up meeting for two more years ,when she was 17. They had no contact for 12 years:
“It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like, ‘What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you?’ I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the Internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.”
During their first meeting, she stayed with him for about five days, and the sleeping arrangements were interesting:
“Sleeping in new places makes me very anxious so I asked him to stay with me in case I had one of the terrible nightmares I usually experience. The second night I had him sleep on the couch again and then the third night I fell asleep with him on the floor lying on his chest, in his arms. The fourth night rolled around and we ended up on the floor again. This time we actually cuddled. When he woke up, we were spooning. I didn’t know this at the time but later, after we admitted our feelings, he told me he had had “morning wood” and had gone to fix it.”
The next night, things started to escalate:
“That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps. We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity.”
The teen insists it wasn’t weird, actually just the opposite:
There’s a reason I lost my virginity to him — because I’d never felt comfortable with any other man. It was insanely sensual. It lasted for about an hour and there was a lot of foreplay. We both had orgasms. We are so similar, so it’s so easy to sexually please each other. For example, we both love neck-biting. I’ve never been in a more passionate, loving, fulfilling situation.
The two then discussed if a real relationship was possible:
We discussed it before we had sex. I told him I was saving myself for someone who I’d be committed to for the rest of my life. It was important for me to make it clear that if I made love to him he was in a relationship with me. I didn’t regret it at all. I was happy for once in my life. We fell deeply in love.
Now, the two are engaged and are planning a “full-on wedding,” that won’t be legal, of course. Then a move to New Jersey where they can be safe “since adult incest isn’t illegal there.” The teen insists they’ll have kids together and says she is not worried about the potential genetic problems.