Teacher performed sex act with student in her classroom

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An 11th grade English teacher at Cumberland Valley High School is accused of performing a sexual act with a male student in her classroom, according to search warrants released Thursday.

14478514-mmmainEmily Nesbit, 31, is under investigation by Silver Spring Township police. The Cumberland Valley School District announced in a statement that Nesbit resigned from her position Wednesday, after school officials learned of the allegations Monday.

The search warrants were filed by Detective Jared S. Huff for the phones belonging to Nesbit and the student, and records from both of their cellphone providers. The warrants, obtained at the office of Magisterial District Judge Kathryn H. Silcox in Hampden Township, also outline details of Nesbit’s activity with the student, which police said are as follows:

Police started their investigation around 2:45 p.m. Monday after receiving a call from high school administrators. Officer Christopher Butler arrived at the school in Silver Spring Township and spoke with associate principal Rob Martin.

Butler learned from Martin that another 18-year-old female student had reported looking through the cellphone of the male student with his permission. She said she saw conversations between the student, whose age was not stated, and Nesbit that seemed sexual in nature.

The male student in an interview that day with Butler did not deny he had a “relationship” with Nesbit, Huff said. He also turned over his iPhone to police.

The student was then interviewed Tuesday morning at the township police department. He said he had been meeting with Nesbit in her classroom a couple times a week at the end of the school day.

He said he held hands with the teacher and they had kissed in the past. He also said that a week prior Nesbit had performed a sexual act with him in her classroom and they had been communicating regularly for roughly two months.

The student’s iPhone showed that he labeled Nesbit as “My Lady Friend” in his phone. It also revealed that the student and Nesbit had exchanged photographs of each other in various states of undress and had discussed meeting in her classroom during and after school hours.

Moreover, Nesbit in the messages stated her desire to have sex with the student, and police said the messages also inferred some sexual activity had taken place.

Nesbit was interviewed by police later on Tuesday and admitted to performing the sex act with the student. She also acknowledged they had held hands and kissed and that all of their meetings had occurred in her classroom. Nesbit at that point turned over her iPhone to police.

Charges are still pending against Nesbit.

FBI: Military Contractor Caught Masturbating To Child Porn Inside Car At Colorado Army Base

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franciscalar1A Department of Defense contractor was arrested yesterday morning after a military policeman spotted him masturbating to child pornography inside a car parked at a Colorado Army base.

According to a criminal complaint, Francis Calar, 53, was pleasuring himself inside a Ford sedan at 10:30 AM when a military cop approached the vehicle. Calar, seen at right, initially did not notice the officer since he was “intently focused on an image on the screen of his laptop computer.”

As described in a criminal complaint sworn by FBI Agent Andrew Stearns, Calar–a married father of two boys–was staring at a sexually explicit photo of a young girl. When he spotted the officer, Calar “quickly close his laptop and threw it on the passenger seat.” After the cop directed Calar to exit his car, he reportedly said, “Yes I know you seen what I was doing and what I was looking at.”

In subsequent interviews with law enforcement officials, Calar “advised that he has an active interest in child pornography,” and said that he often parks in the same Fort Carson lot so that he can access an unsecured Internet connection and “visit chat rooms and search for child pornography during breaks from work.” Calar’s Facebook page describes him as a “technical trainer” at Fort Carson.

Calar, Agent Stearns reported, was “adamant that his sexual interest in children is purely ‘fantasy.’”  He told investigators that he is “active with children” and currently coaches girls volleyball and boys baseball. Additonally, Calar said that he has previously taught Sunday school at his church and recently resigned as the girls volleyball coach at Mesa Ridge High School in Colorado Springs.

Charged with possession of child pornography, Calar is scheduled this afternoon for an initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Denver. If convicted of the felony count, he faces a minimum of five years in prison (and as much as 10 years in custody).

Medical condition gives woman non-stop orgasms. Unfortunately it’s not contagious

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3Heather McCuen, 40, suffers from Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD) which began when she became pregnant.

In a desperate stab at a normal life, Heather has tried intimate botox jabs, anti-depressants and even electric-shock therapy, to rid her of her debilitating illness.

The treatments have cost £6,000 and failed to cure her of her embarrassing condition.

Heather told The Sun: “Having orgasms all day might sound like fun but for me, it’s a living hell.”

The mum, from South Carolina, was so distraught at the constant orgasms and need to masturbate that she felt compelled to end her own life.

“I sat down and wrote suicide notes to my family, explaining I was sick of feeling this way and felt the only way out was to leave them behind,” she said.

“Having orgasms all day might sound like fun but for me, it’s a living hell”

Heather McCuen

Heather, who lives with husband Jeremy and son, Jonah, cannot even share a bed with her partner and has to sleep alone.

She added: “Now I just want my normal life back. Jeremy and I haven’t shared a bed for all that time and sex is out of the question.

“Before we had a brilliant sex life but now if we sleep together it sets me off having to have orgasm after orgasm for days.”

Even basic household chores are a no-go as the vibrations from washing or cleaning could set off her orgasms again.

PGAD is a recent phenomenon and was first described in medical literature in 2011.

Sufferers have uncontrollable orgasms which are unrelated to any feelings of sexual desire.

If you’re a registered sex offender, maybe you shouldn’t grab your mail while naked

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Oklahoma City police arrested a man after several children reported seeing him walking to his mailbox naked. Police said they also caught the man masturbating outside his house as a 14-year-old boy walked by.

According to police, about 2 p.m. on Wednesday, officers responded to several reports of a man walking to get his mail naked in the 8300 block of N.W. 112th Terrace. A woman told police that she and her three children, ages 12,10,6, saw the man naked in his front yard.

When officers arrived at the scene, they spoke with the suspect, 68-year-old Hillard Stallings, at his house. Stallings told officers that he was a registered sex offender, but he refused to give them his ID.

According to the report, officers then contacted the Sex Crimes Unit, and they stated that if Stallings came outside, the officers could arrest him. However, police said Stallings was very rude and did not want to talk to the officers.

Officers said they believed the inappropriate behaviors would continue. An officer remained on the scene. About five minutes after they spoke to Stallings, the officer said he saw a 14-year-old boy standing in front of Stallings’ house, looking toward the front door.

When the officer got closer, he said he saw Stallings outside his house, “shaking his penis and thrusting his hips out” towards the boy , according to the report.

The officer then took Stallings into custody. He was taken to the Oklahoma County Jail on several charges, including three counts of indecent exposure, one count of failure to register as a sex offender, and one count of disorderly conduct by masturbating in public.

Scientists have patented a new machine that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button, making men totally redundant

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imagesScientists have patented a new machine that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button.

A little smaller than a packet of cigarettes, the machine is designed to be a medical implant that uses electrodes to trigger an orgasm.  The device would help some women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction.

During the operation, a patient would remain conscious so that a surgeon could correctly pinpoint the right nerves to fit the electrodes in a patient’s spinal cord.  Then, a signal generator would be connected which would be most likely implanted under the skin of a patient’s buttocks.

Stuart Meloy,  a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., came up with idea by accident.

“I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically,” he said to Newscientist. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”

Meloy explained that the idea is that orgasms could happen at the push of a button when the implant could be triggered by a hand-held remote control.

However, he explained the treatment is intended to be used in the most serious of orgasmic dysfunction cases because the device is as invasive as a pacemaker.

Medical trials will be conducted by a Minneapolis-based company later this year.

Another Vibrator Story, Attorney Sneaks In Toys To An Imate

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w300-s_204959a62524153f48be1bdf0c28c639An attorney is accused of smuggling a sex toy into Oklahoma County jail and duping an inmate into performing sex acts with it, supposedly in exchange for his legal fees.

Sheriff John Whetsel said this went on for three months before the woman realized he wasn’t actually her attorney.

The woman agreed to participate in a sting, and Frank Kirk, 70, of Oklahoma City, was arrested Monday in a visitation room at the jail with the woman present. The sheriff’s office withheld her name.

Kirk was contacted to become the woman’s attorney in January but never became her attorney of record, Whetsel said. From her initial court appearance on drug charges, she was represented by the Oklahoma County public defender’s office and it’s not clear why she thought he was her lawyer.

Over the course of three months and six documented visits at the jail, the woman told investigators Kirk coerced her to masturbate in front of him, expose her breasts and touch his penis, according to court documents.

The woman learned Kirk was not her attorney this past week after a visit with her actual attorney from the public defender’s office.

As part of the sting, sheriff’s investigators recorded audio of Kirk making sexual advances toward the woman in a visitation room.

Investigators arrested Kirk, with contraband items including a cellphone and the sex toy, which was in his laptop case, according to court documents.

Substitute Teacher Accused Of Masturbating At School Blames Wardrobe Malfunction

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Michael-Luecke-125x188A 72-year-old substitute music teacher in Connecticut who was dismissed after a staff member said she found him masturbating at school Wednesday morning told authorities he was just adjusting his pants, according to court documents.

Michael Luecke, of Stamford, appeared in court today. He is being held on $10,000 bond.

A staff member at Westhill High School in Stamford was walking in an area of lockers just after 7:33 a.m. on Wednesday when she saw Luecke on the ground and approached him because she thought he was hurt.

Instead, she found the substitute teacher with his hand in his pants.

His head was tilted back, his eyes were rolled back and he was “manipulating his penis,” according to police.

The staff member told Luecke his behavior was inappropriate.

His response was that he “had to find somewhere else to do that,” according to court paperwork.

But the staff member told Luecke that he should not be working around kids.

His response what “that never happened to me before.”

The staff member then notified school officials, who quickly notified Westhill High School Resource Officers.

Luecke was immediately removed from a classroom that he was overseeing, brought to the main office and detained.

Police said they reviewed surveillance, which showed Luecke in the corner of a stairwell at Rayner building “suspiciously manipulating the front of his pants” while looking at students in the courtyard around 7:30 a.m.

Three minutes later, Luecke was seen going behind a bank of student lockers for approximately a minute, then emerging and lying on his back.

Then the video shows the witness confront him while he is on the floor. It also shows Luecke’s pants open. He appeared to be in an aroused state, according to police.

Police said they are working to identify the six students who passed Luecke’s while he is “conducting this act” to assess a need for counseling.

“It’s shocking, shocking,” said Stamford parent Toni Cummaro. “The elementary school is right there, the high school, it’s still kids we’re talking about. It’s awful, it’s awful.”

When police spoke with Luecke in the main office, he said he was having a wardrobe malfunction, according to court documents.

He said he does not wear a belt, the clip on his pants does not work properly and he got on the floor to close the clip.

Luecke was arrested and taken to Stamford police headquarters, where he was charged with public indecency, second-degree breach of peace and risk of injury to a minor.

Officials said he has been in Connecticut for six years and has no prior arrest record.

According to his lawyer, Luecke said he is a veteran.

Bond was originally set at $25,000, but was reduced to $10,000.

Luecke has been ordered to go through a mental health evaluation in prison.

If he is released, he will be on 24-hour house arrest and will have to wear an electronic monitoring bracelet.

He will also undergo intensive pre-trial monitoring.

Officials ordered Luecke to stay away from schools and to go through a mental health evaluation as well as treatment.

Stamford schools are not the only schools Luecke has subbed in. He has also subbed in the middle school and high school in Greenwich, school officials said, but no longer will.

His substitute teaching in Greenwich was infrequent, school officials said.

Porn’s Behind-the-Camera Feminists

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1393411662853_cached“Heather and Her Friends” opens with a shot of an attractive blonde woman staring into the camera with her lips open as she caresses another woman who is topless. In “Timeless,” a blonde girl eagerly smiles while a man ejaculates on her face and tongue.

It’s scenes like these that lend credence to the belief that the adult film industry objectifies and denigrates women, turning them into mere sex objects that are the instruments of male-centric pleasures and fantasies.

But these pornos were filmed by a self-described “left-leaning feminist.” As the managing director of Penthouse Entertainment, Kelly Holland is one of the most powerful women in the entertainment industry—adult or otherwise. She and a few other women working behind the scenes of the porn industry as writers, directors, and entrepreneurs are combating the stereotype that the only place for a woman in porn is in front of the camera servicing men.

Holland’s story complicates the feminist conception of porn as degrading to women. In the 1970s and 1980s, many feminists pushed against porn, claiming it hurt women’s rights. Gloria Steinem, Bella Abzug, and Andrea Dworkin protested pornography by leading a 1979 march in Times Square. Dworkin and other feminists later testified in front of the Meese Commission in 1986, claiming porn debased women.

It was at this time in the 1980s that Holland was professionally occupied with activities that would make those feminists proud. As a documentarian, she was filming in Central America and focusing heavily on El Salvador’s civil war and the Contra wars in Nicaragua.

Holland was living project-to-project, paycheck-to-paycheck, so she also operated a post-production studio “in order to facilitate my evil documentary habit,” she said with a laugh. But things changed in the 1990s. She rented out space in her studio. One time she noticed someone editing gay porn, but the footage showed the director peeking out.  She called up Vivid Entertainment, the company behind the footage, and offered to clean up the film. Her response from Marcie Hirsch, now the VP of Production at Vivid, was a challenge: “If you think you know so much, try to direct,” she told Holland. And that’s exactly what she did.

“I went in on it as a dare,” said Holland. “As a documentarian, you love to drop into interesting worlds, so I said sure.” In 1994, she produced her first pornographic film, “Blondage”. But what started as a lark became a professional passion for Holland. “Adult was great because the money was good, but it’s also this amazing playground,” she said.

The artistic options as a director were actually more bountiful than as a documentarian thanks to the budgets and short shooting schedules. “No movie cost so much you couldn’t take risks, and you’re doing three or four a month, so if you mess up, you move on. It was like being in film school, but getting paid. It was such a wonderful learning experience.”

Holland was well aware, though, that her feminist friends were aghast at her career choice. She said they all questioned her decision, but she “countered with the documentary journalist approach of coming in with a fairly open mind.”

She began making documentaries on porn sets—including one called “Porn in the U.S.A.” for a Netherlands television station—and interviewing some of the actresses. Getting to know those women not only dramatically altered Holland’s view of the porn industry, but also of feminism.

“I began to realize that these women—whether they articulated or not—really exemplified for me the essence of modern day feminism, which is, ‘My body my rules.’”

“I began to realize that these women—whether they articulated or not—really exemplified for me the essence of modern day feminism, which is, ‘My body my rules,’” she said. “Not my dad’s, not my husband’s, not my mullah’s, not my rabbi’s, not my priest’s, and frankly, not my girlfriends’.”

The actresses, she said, were often incredibly smart. “They were the kids who were such brainiacs they couldn’t stand school or follow a traditional path.” They were also comfortable with their sexuality, but felt judged by their communities.

The more time Holland spent in the adult film industry around its women, the more she came to believe that the feminist contentions against pornography were more of a reflection of class differences than anything else.  “The first few decades of feminism were dominated by the East Coast intellectual elite, those doing women’s studies at Wellesley,” she said. “It set in motion not an issue about women’s rights, but more of an issue of what good girls should be doing. That’s a class issue, not morality.”

Which is not to say that Holland believes the entire porn industry treats with women with as much respect as she does or views the actresses through a feminist’s eye. “An enormous amount of misogynistic crap is produced in this business,” she admits.

However, she resents that “porn gets painted with this very wide brush stroke.” To her, it’s an unfair standard that all of porn has to answer to the industry’s worst examples. “I’m sure Ellen DeGeneres doesn’t accept responsibility for The Jerry Springer Show, even though they’re both talk shows.”

Joanna Angel agrees that it is incredibly frustrating when outsiders make blanket statement about the porn industry and its effect on women. “I don’t think porn can be blamed for domestic violence or sexual abuse, nor do I think video games can be blamed for violence in the street,” said Angel, who has been acting, writing, directing, and marketing adult films since 2002 for her own company, Burning Angel. (The company’s NSFW site can be found here.) “If you are the kind of person who looks at forms of entertainment and can’t take it as entertainment, there is something wrong with you that is much greater than porn.”

Angel’s career in pornography, not to mention her positive view of it, is pretty shocking considering her background. She grew up in an Orthodox Jewish home in New Jersey following all of the traditional religious rituals, including keeping kosher and honoring the Sabbath. She attended Rutgers University and graduated with a degree English literature. Tattoos with quotes from Margaret Atwood and Kurt Vonnegut line her body.

When she was in college, she and her roommate started thinking it would be fun to start their own porn site. “We were just two college kids who wanted to have a cool job,” she said. “I didn’t know anyone in the industry. I just fell in love with this weird idea I had and wanted to turn it into something.”

After working as a stripper at night as she built her company during the day, Angel is now one of the most successful women in the adult film industry for both her work in front of and behind the cameras. Her website and her performances have won AVN awards, which is the Oscars of porn. Her niche is alt porn, which has a goth or punk edge. Instead of blonde and bubbly, the women tend to be tattoed and pierced.

Because her films fall outside the traditional mainstream Angel realizes how diverse and wide the spectrum of modern pornography is. “Porn is not one thing,” she said. “No one says they dislike all music because they don’t like one band.”

The women in porn know the many, many arguments that they are up against for their career choice, namely that their work puts bodily and sexual pressure on women and subjugates them to male desires. But they see the core faults of pornographic films as no different from that of the mainstream Hollywood entertainment industry.  Angie Rowntree, who founded Sssh.com a “porn-for-women” website in 1999, said, “Is it by the adult film industry or the film industry period? That’s always the question. Porn feeds a fantasy. Movies are a fantasy. Shouldn’t we say as adults, ‘This is a fantasy?’”

Holland says what bothers her more than pure nudity is the sexualization of violence, which she feels is just as endemic to mainstream entertainment as pornography, if not more so.“CSI which goes on the air at nine is predicated on sexual predators,” said Holland. “I was and am outraged by the hypocrisy of it all the time. All that’s missing is the nipples, the areolas, the vaginas. But because they don’t shoot that they can shoot all sorts of insane violence against women.

That being said, she realizes that porn does play a unique role in creating what she calls a “sexual social etiquette,” and that, yes, it does make it harder for women.

“We impact the social and sexual lives of people as they grow up. Fifteen years ago, we taught a whole generation of young men about pulling out and popping on a girl’s face,” she said, referring to the common porn practice of a man ejaculating on a woman. “We had to do that for the camera, but unfortunately, that got translated into contemporary sexual protocol.”

However, Holland ultimately believes porn can help liberate women and teach them to vocalize their own sexual desires. Shed said, “Do we create the open dialogue? No. But, are we a factor? Do we push it to the 50-yard line? Yes.”

In regards to the above mentioned “popping,” Holland said, “Hopefully now we are training a whole generation of women to say ‘No, don’t do that because my hair is going to get funky.’”

Holland recounted how every time she goes out with a group of women who are just learning for the first time that she works in porn, they bombard her with questions they’re too embarrassed to say to their spouses. “It remains shocking how many women can’t talk openly with their partners about their sexuality,” said Holland.

Rowntree said the whole purpose of Sssh.com is to “try to give women a safe place to explore their sexuality and make them feel good about it. We want to show women enjoying themselves sexually.”

And at least in her films, Angel believes she is showing women in the power roles, rather than the men. Not only does she tends to write scripts where women are the smarter characters and in control, generally in the porn industry “male porn stars are like a prop,” she said. “They’re there to bring something out of the woman in the scene. Maybe that’s objectifying men,” she laughed.

Sex in public: Churches, court rooms and a clock tower – the strangest places people have been caught

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Horrified parents who saw a man simulate sex in a bus stop outside their children’s after-school club are not the only ones to have been left astonished at such a public display of ‘affection’.

It seems that sometimes, no matter what the location or who might be watching, some people just cannot stop the urge to fornicate.

So on the back of John Baird’s naked bottom and ‘thrusting’ motions outraging the good people of Linlithgow, West Lothian, we take a look at some for the other random ‘outdoor encounters’.

Newcastle city wall

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A randy couple who indulged in a spot of sex atop a city fortification was captured on video.

A picture of their (very) brief encounter went viral after it was posted on Twitter.

The frisky duo’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it dangerous liaison took place on top of Newcastle’s city wall.

Couldn’t quite make it home

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Kevin Naylor, 25, and girlfriend Catherine Hughes, 19, were caught in the act just metres from their home in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, after they returned home from the pub.

The romp was captured by CCTV operators in the town centre, who alerted officers and the red-faced couple were arrested.

However, the case took a twist when a police control room employee was arrested on suspicion of downloading the steamy CCTV footage on to his mobile phone.

Sussex Beach

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A couple were arrested after brazenly having sex on a beach in broad daylight in front of gobsmacked parents and children.

Disgusted Simon Cummins and his mates were stunned when they heard the woman’s apparent sexual moans as they walked along the promenade on Sunday morning.

Up a clock tower

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The time was 3.31 – and one couple were very, very busy…

The stark naked pair picked the balcony of the 105-year-old clock tower of the Grace Brothers building in Sydney, Australia, for their tryst. Situated opposite the Broadway Shopping Centre, they romped in full view of passers by below.

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The Queen’s lawn

In April 2009 it was revealed a couple had been arrested after being caught having sex on the Queen’s lawn at Windsor Castle.

Bemused tourists, who expected to enjoy a quintessential English afternoon, instead witnessed the pair strip on a grass bank outside the castle – while her majesty was said to be in residence.

At high speed on a motorway

A randy Norweigan man was caught having sex with his girlfriend while driving at 100mph.

Traffic police clocked the couple’s silver Mazda 323 racing at 133 kilometres per hour in a 100 zone and realised they were doing a bit more than breaking the speed limit.

“It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man’s lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say,” said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

At a tram stop

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A naked couple caught having sex at a tram stop in romantic Croydon were ordered to move on when they were caught live on CCTV.

Despite the operator’s pleas for them to get dressed and desist, the woman of 29 and her boyfriend aged 17 brazenly carried on.

British Transport Police officers had to drive out to arrest the pair and bed them down overnight in cells – separately – before releasing them with cautions the next day.

In a phonebox

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One couple took more than the law into their own hands – with a 40 minute phone box romp in full-on view right by Brighton JPs’ court in 2008.

A passer-by said: “They didn’t care who saw.

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In court

Judge Donald Thompson was jailed after being found guilty of using a penis pump while he was presiding over cases.

According to witnesses at his 2006 trial in Oklahoma, he used the sex aid when cases were either incredibly boring or really sexy – you know how it is with murder trials. He was banged up for four years and disbarred.

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In church

A couple in Cesena, Italy, put a whole new spin on worship when they ‘took communion’ in the confessional booth during morning mass.

The police were called after members of the congregation heard ‘grunts and moans’. The couple – who were drunk – were cautioned for obscene acts and disturbing a religious function, which ‘religious function’ was disturbed we ask?

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On a police car

For some people having sex in public just isn’t daring enough and they must take it that extra mile by, for instance, having sex on a police car. But not just any old cop car – one that has bobbies in it.

A randy Dutch couple – known for their clogs and proclivity to fornicate in full view of emergency service personnel – decided the bonnet was the place to bonk and say they didn’t notice the two cops sitting in the car (eating donuts and watching, no doubt).

The police got out of their car and politely asked the couple to stop and go somewhere else, as the law doesn’t specifically prohibit people from having sex on top of a cop car but does state that police officers need to be available for duty.

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In the cockpit

In 1916, the first recorded case of mile-high sex resulted in a plane crash – probably because it was the pilot who was immersed in the action.  Is this why it’s called the cockpit?

The National Transportation Safety Board has also attributed one fatal accident to a pilot being distracted by extra-curricular activities noting that she made an “improper in-flight decision to divert her attention to other activities not related to the conduct of the flight”.

Clear evidence that while joining the mile high club may be fun it’s not such a great idea if you’re in charge of keeping the plane up.

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In a bank

The French are well known for their sexual passion and one couple just couldn’t hold back when they found themselves alone in the bank.

The duo was caught by a group of teenagers armed with a mobile phone across the street.

Be warned, the video is explicit, but the woman’s reaction when she realised she’s been sprung is priceless. She faints.

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On a crane

Have you ever looked at a crane and thought: ‘Phwoar, I’d really like to get down on that’? Thought not. But Florida couple Justin Dunn and Nicole Albert climbed up on a crane in broad daylight to bump and grind.

The couple got off with just a warning, as Dunn’s father owned the crane and it was private property. They were told to try to be more discrete in the future.

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In jail

In Boston Legal lawyers are prone to frenzied expressions of affection on the law books so perhaps we should expect high jinks of a David E. Kelly kind in real life.

Prison tends to evoke unfortunate images best left untouched but nothing as outrageous as a Seattle public defender getting caught having sexual relations with a triple-murder defendant she was representing.

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On train tracks

In 2008 a couple in South Africa decided that having sex in the path of a fast-moving train was a good idea…

When the train pulled into the station and the conductor shouted out the window for the couple to move they decided to finish off rather than save their own lives.

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With inanimate objects

Some people have just got to take it where they can get it and examining the evidence it seems that sex with inanimate objects is more prevalent than you might imagine.

In March 2008 an American man faced indecency charges after allegedly being filmed having sex with a picnic table.

Police say Art Price Jr was seen copulating with furniture on four separate mornings and a neighbour recorded it for evidence.

The neighbour, who remained anonymous, said he saw Mr Price in his garden turning over a round metal table before performing a sex act upon it.

Local Police Captain Matt Johnson said: “He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.”

In November 2007 a ‘cycle-sexualist’ was caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bike.

The 51-year-old was ‘riding it’ when he opened his door to a hostel cleaner and asked “What is it, hen?” before continuing to “move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex.”

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In a car park

A car park isn’t a particularly unusual place to find a copulating couple but in November 2008 two love cheats were exposed in Scotland when they “got carried away”.

Gillian Stalker and John McDougall denied ‘dogging’ after having sex in a car and moving the romp outside into the car park at Irvine beach in Ayrshire.

Gillian Stalker, 40, said she was aware of another man watching them from his car but denied police claims that the area was busy with dog walkers and children and said neither she nor her lover would normally have sex in public.

The self-employed saleswoman told the court: “John and myself had engaged in some sexual activity in the car.

“But as there was not much room, and also because it was a nice day, we decided to continue outside and in a public place.”

She said she and McDougall did not take much notice of the man watching them “as we were getting a bit carried away, as you do in a situation like that”.

In a nightclub

Last November, a couple were caught on camera having sex Bar Luna nightclub in Llanelli, South Wales. One customer who got an eyeful posted saps online.

But the amorous duo escaped a ban because managers – who recognised the club’s furniture – could not see the couple’s faces.

At school

That hotbed of hormones is a well known breeding ground for dangerous sexual liaisons but it’s not so controversial if two teachers get together on campus, unless they do it in front of a security camera.

That’s exactly what one stupid, married principal in North Carolina did. Not once, but many times with various women. He had the presence of mind to do it behind closed doors but neglected to turn off, or avoid, the security camera pointing directly at his desk.

Video was later released forcing him and his co-stars to resign.

 

At work

One quiet night in England a Polish contractor working late on a children’s hospital decided the stress of the day was just too much and he needed to relieve himself. There beneath him lay Henry, a vacuum cleaner with a great big cartoon smile on its face. Who could possibly resist?

A passing security guard saw the man in flagrante and asked him to clean himself, and the vacuum, up before leaving the premises.

Couple refuses to pay fare after having sex in a cab

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Couple-having-sex-on-the-motorway-2253304Orland Park police say a local man and his date turned a cab ride from Rosemont into an erotic adventure and then told the driver they couldn’t pay the $83 fare.

Police responding to the 15500 block of Sunset Ridge Drive in Orland Park on Feb. 9 said they encountered an exasperated driver, two intoxicated, incoherent passengers and clothing “strewn throughout the taxi.”

Prompted by the presence of police, the 27-year-old man used his mother’s credit card to pay the debt, leaving the 31-year-old Elgin woman to find her way home, police said. Authorities said they took her to the police station, where she was eventually picked up by her brother.

The cab driver said he had picked up the couple outside a bar, and they had sex in the vehicle while he drove them to Orland Park, according to police.