Things Not To Say (Or Admit) To A Law Enforcement Agent (#9)

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In an apparent attempt to explain why a woman twice spotted him pleasuring himself in his apartment window, an Iowa man told cops that the indecent exposure was an accident, adding that he was “on an adult website at the time of the second incident.”

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dustinhillsDespite that explanation, Dustin Hills, 35, was arrested last night and booked into the Johnson County jail, where he remains locked up on a serious misdemeanor charge.

A female victim told cops that, on two separate occasions last month, she was “outside in a parking lot” when she “noticed a man displaying his penis and pleasuring himself while standing in a nearby apartment window.” The man hid when she yelled at him, the woman reported.

When questioned by investigators, Hills, seen in the adjacent mug shot, “admitted to accidentally displaying his erect penis to others outside” his Iowa City home, according to a criminal complaint. Hills added that he was “on an adult website” when the woman spotted him the second time.

There Is Now A Marijuana Lubricant That Can Trigger A 15-Minute Orgasm

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A marijuana-based lubricant created by Mathew Gerson and the Aphrodite Group is designed to be a sensual enhancement for women.

Yes, you read that correctly. The lubricant, Foria, is designed specifically for females and supposedly produces a 15-minute climax.

The lubricant contains coconut oil and medical cannabis oil from plants grown in California. Unfortunately, it’s currently only available to residents with a valid physician’s recommendation, according to Foria’s website.

Gerson says the effects of the lubricant, tested by over 100 volunteers, depend on the woman and how she responds to cannabis. He affirmed that one of the main outcomes of the marijuana lubrication is relaxation.

We believe that health and pleasure are naturally inseparable…doctors encourage it, while we offer something much more healthy and enjoyable.

Floria’s creators assure customers that the product is 100 percent natural, free from sugar, gluten, additives and chemicals. Each spray contains of 360 milligrams of THC.

For around $86, female California residents can take home a bottle of this magic oil. The rest of the world will have to wait.

Check out Floria’s video advertisement for the marijuana lubrication above.

What do you do with your kids when you’re having a threesome in a hot tub?

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53d6f92c2a9bf.imageTwo women and a man have been accused of public sexual indecency after an alleged romp in a Peoria apartment’s hot tub.

Authorities say 28-year-old Gina Marie Rayner also is being held on suspicion of child abuse for allegedly leaving her two young children alone in an apartment.

Rayner, her 30-year-old boyfriend Anthony Michael Vechiola, and 29-year-old Jennifer M. Duchnowski had their initial court appearances Monday.

Bond was set at $2,100 for both Rayner and Vechiola, while Duchnowski was released on her own recognizance.

The three allegedly were seen having sex Sunday night in the apartment’s public spa.

Peoria police interviewed them, and an officer reported hearing a child crying for his mother. The 5-year-old boy later was identified as Rayner’s and her 3-year-old child was found in Vechiola’s apartment.

‘You’ve still got your socks on': Husband’s last words before dying of heart condition during sex

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Mark-and-Lucie-enjoying-each-others-company-on-the-beachA young mother has written a moving account of how her husband died as they made love – uttering his final words ‘You’ve still got your socks on’.

Lucie Brownlee found herself widowed at 36 following Mark Johnston’s sudden death.

The pair had been trying for a baby and were making love at what was judged to be the best possible time to conceive.

But the Government intelligence analyst suffered a catastrophic arrhythmia – an abnormality in the heartbeat – and could not be revived.

Lucie first wrote a blog, then a book about the intensely personal journey which helped her cope with her own grief – and helped others who have lost loved ones.

She told how Mark’s last words were: “You’ve still got your socks on” and explains her feelings since with searing honesty.

Lucie, 38, who has a six-year-old daughter by him, said: “I was just at a complete loss as to what to do after Mark died and I started the blog and then the book as a way of handling it.

“I had to be completely candid. I was watching the programme ‘One Born Every Minute’ on TV and thought that was the most intimate moment of someone’s life to show on telly.

“But nobody speaks about death and I just felt it was so traumatic and so completely shocking that I had to tell it all, exactly as it happened.

“It almost removes a bit of the power of death. I understand that some people feel such things should be private and I also respect that.

“But I have been very, very candid about it and the lovely thing is that I have had other widows and widowers read it, and tell me ‘thanks for being so honest’.”

A lecturer as well as an author, Lucie, who lives near Sedgefield, Co Durham, went through months of being unable to work after Mark’s death, but then used her writing to give voice to her feelings.

Mark, who worked at GCHQ and was just 37 when he died, had collapsed four years prior to his death. Medics discovered that his aorta had ruptured. But he was believed to be fit and healthy after an op.

On the day of his death, they had been making love at Lucie’s mother’s house.

Lucie recalled: “It wasn’t ideal but we didn’t want to miss out on the window to conceive. We had only just started making love when he collapsed.

“His last words to me were, ‘you’ve still got your socks on’. I thought he’d collapsed with his heart, but it didn’t cross my mind that he wouldn’t wake up.

“I don’t think you can ever reconcile that – you cannot accept it because it is unacceptable.

“The person I was before 8.14 on the evening of February 11, 2012 is completely different to the person I was after 8.15.

“I have become stronger and done things I never thought I would be able to do, and yet been as fragile as sponge sugar.

“A new person emerges, and this is what I mean about writing about the most intimate things – it is not that I don’t care what people think, it is just there are no rules on what you need to get through.”

Lucie admits she ‘drank like a fish’ and embarked upon a ‘completely inappropriate’ affair in the wake of Mark’s death.

She added: “I had a fling with a plumber who had come round to do some work on my house.

“It was completely inappropriate, and my friends and family were worried that I wasn’t coping in the right way.

“But there is no appropriate way to deal with grief. Mine has been chaotic and unruly. There are no rules.”

Lucie started writing a blog in April last year and has just published “Me After You”. She added: “Once I did write again, it was lovely, because it was as though I was spending time with Mark every single day.

“He was such a positive person, so friendly and so loving.

“He was a one off in every possible way, including the way he died.”

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North Carolina police today arrested 19-year-old twin sisters on prostitution charges after they allegedly advertised their services online.

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Katelyn and Sarah Lothrop were nabbed early this morning by Raleigh Police Department officers. The siblings are pictured in the above mug shots.

The sisters were each charged with aiding and abetting prostitution. Sarah (seen above at right) was also charged with failing to appear in court in connection with a 2013 misdemeanor case. Sarah is locked up in lieu of $8000 bond, while Katelyn is being held on $4000 bond.

lewis1A third defendant, Michael Lewis, was also arrested and charged with aiding and abetting prostitution. According to a police report,the 27-year-old Lewis (seen at right) and the Lothrop twins were arrested at an address that corresponds with a La Quinta Inn & Suites adjacent to the Crabtree Valley Mall.

In a June 13 Facebook post, Katelyn told a male acquaintance that she and her sister were working to “get our shit together” and “trying to turn our live around and better our selves.” The message, which referred to prior drug use, concluded, “we bout to start workin makeing honest money.”

In a Backpage.com ad posted last night, the Lothrops–calling themselves “Kerri” and “Krystal”–sought “Fellaz” in “need of two sexy young twins with excellent talent.” Noting that, “We have a perfect body with the softest skin,” the ad offered to “make your dreams come true & then some.” The online pitch–headlined “Hot and sexy beautiful fun Twins”–included four photos of the underwear-clad women posing in a bathroom mirror. In one shot, seen below, Sarah’s face is not obscured.

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Guy Gets Arrested At The Park For Laying Naked On A Picnic Table And Jerking Off In Broad Daylight

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Screen-Shot-2014-07-15-at-10.05.57-AMAn Iowa City man has been charged with indecent exposure after an alleged incident in Ryerson’s Woods Park. According to a criminal complaint, two witnesses reported seeing Gerald C. Meyer, of Ellis Avenue, lying naked and masturbating on a picnic table at 8:16 p.m. Sunday. When the witnesses confronted him, Meyer said he was “playing with himself,” police said. Police say they found Meyer, 43, in a van matching the witnesses’ description and the witnesses identified him in a six-photo lineup. Meyer is charged with indecent exposure, a serious misdemeanor. He was booked and released Sunday.

First of all, that guy looks like Christopher Walken, right?  Like a lot?  Yeah, he does.  After I saw that mug shot and read the story all I could think about was him saying to the witnesses was “I’m playing with myself” in Walken’s voice and then going off into a long monologue about a gold watch he had hidden in his ass.  That gave me a good laugh.  Second, it’s pretty clear what he was trying to avoid here.  Tan lines.  Ever heard of them?  Those things can be the goddamn devil, they look ridiculous and there’s no telling how long they’ll last.  Just ask Big Cat.  And there’s nothing more boring than laying out to get a tan.  You literally just lay there and let the sun cook you like a piece of bacon.  It’s boring as shit.  I don’t know how girls do it all the time but they love it.  So maybe this guy is looking for a way to break the boredom and, whoops, all of a sudden he’s nakedly jerking off while laying on a picnic table in the middle of a public park.  Hey, it happens.  When you break it down like that you could totally see it happening to anybody.  All the pieces are there for a rational argument to be made that he’s simply hyper aware of his physical appearance and wanted to look as good as possible.  Or he’s just a lunatic weirdo who likes to get off on picnic tables in the park.  Either way.