Bodybuilding Christian Swingers From Florida Start Spouse-Swapping Website

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Love thy neighbor as yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do not covet thy neighbor’s ass. These are the ethical foundations of any good swinger’s lifestyle.

n-BODYBUILDING-CHRISTIAN-SWINGERS-largeIf you like Jesus, pumping iron and pumping/getting pumped by acquaintances bound by holy matrimony, there’s a website just for you.

It’s called Fitness Swingers, and it’s the brainchild of Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean, who dreamed up the site after reportedly having a threesome with this wife and her female friend. Apparently, the sex was just heavenly.

The Florida couple, who met at a bodybuilding competition, are interested in sharing their beliefs and their spouses with others who feel similarly. They started their online network 7 years ago, and haven’t looked back. The pillars of their relationship: A commitment to their faith, to fitness, and to the ideals of the swinger lifestyle.

Dean Parave told Barcroft Media that he doesn’t think that his swinger lifestyle conflicts with his Christian beliefs. In fact, he considers it a kind of ministry.

“So far today, God hasn’t told me, ‘Dean stop that, it’s a sin. I don’t want you to do that.’ Until he does that, I’m going to keep trying to help as many people as I can,” he told Barcroft.

Christy said she needed a little convincing that it was moral at first, but now she’s totally convinced that god is on their side.

“God put people on the Earth to breed and enjoy each other,” she told Barcroft. “I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.”

Their daughter told the outlet that she thinks that helping run her parents’ website is definitely “different.”

Man Named Wank Busted At Love’s Truck Stop For Public Lewdness

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clavinwankA man named Calvin Wank was arrested Saturday morning at an upstate New York truck stop after several drivers reported seeing him “committing sexually lewd acts while in the parking lot,” according to police.

Seen at right, Wank is a 56-year-old resident of Deposit, a town about 35 miles from the Love’s Truck Stop where he was busted around 10:15 AM. Witnesses reported that Wank was “committing sexually lewd acts while in the parking lot and field next to the truck stop.”

State troopers responding to a suspicious person report arrested Wank for public lewdness, a misdemeanor. He is scheduled for an October 7 court appearance.

Man plagued by 100 orgasms a day

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Having 100 orgasms every day has ruined the life of Wisconsin man Dale Decker, who’s been left physically drained and isolated.

Decker’s bout with persistent genital arousal syndrome came about two years ago when he slipped a disc in his back falling from a chair.

While heading to the hospital he had five orgasms and they just keep coming, as many as 100 a day, according to the website UKNW.

None of which the married father of two boys enjoys.

“I was in line at the grocery store once and as I got to the front I dropped to my knees and had an orgasm,” UKNW quotes the former telecom company office manager.

“I was yelping. It was horrendous. When it was over I looked around and about 150 people all stood looking at me in disgust.”

Decker is pretty much confined to his Two Rivers home so he doesn’t experience one of his ongoing and “disgusting” orgasmic episodes in public.

“Imagine being at your father’s funeral, beside his casket, and you have nine orgasms,” he said. “There’s nothing pleasurable in it. You’re disgusted by it.”

UKNW reports Decker has no idea how he can get help so his rare syndome comes to a happy ending and he’s free from the humiliation.

Women Get Really Excited On Amusement Park Ride (VIDEO)

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Roller coasters can be a blast, as can Tilt-A-Whirls, but few amusement park attractions offer the thrills and chills of a reverse bungee jump ride called the Slingshot.

For women anyway.

At least, based on viral videos that show women reacting to the sensation of the ride.

For your enjoyment, WTFark.com has collected some of the most thrilling clips in the video above.

Man Divorces Wife Over Her ‘Excessive And Insatiable Desire’ For Sex

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n-WOMAN-large570We’ve heard of people divorcing over a sexless marriage, but divorcing over too much sex? You don’t hear that one every day.

Apparently, one man was recently granted a divorce by a Mumbai family court because he could no longer deal with his wife’s “excessive and insatiable desire for sex.”

According to The Times Of India, the sex-fatigued husband first approached the court in January, claiming that his wife was “aggressive, stubborn and autocratic” and that she’d be harassing him for sex since they married in April 2012.

The man told the court his wife forced medication on him to boast his sexual stamina and threatened to hook up with other men if she remained unfulfilled. Things got so bad, the husband had to be hospitalized for an uneasy stomach at one point.

In the end, the wife failed to appear before the court, so the divorce was granted. (Meanwhile, we couldn’t be happier for the poor, put-upon husband. May he go on to have as little — or as much — non-chore-like, consensual sex as he’d like.)

Somehow, this isn’t the weirdest grounds for divorce we’ve ever heard. Check out the slideshow below for seven more strange, but true reasons for calling it quits.

College dudes worried that movement to take rape seriously is ruining their sex lives

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shutterstock_85129009-620x412Trend pieces about so-called college hookup culture tend to overestimate how much sex students are actually having. Last year, a study presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association found that less than 30 percent of college students had more than one partner in the previous year. Which about equals data from surveys taken over the last twenty years. This means, as Time’s Maia Szalavitz noted at time time, college students “aren’t hooking up more than they ever were, or even more than their parents did.”

So with this in mind, I didn’t put much stock in a Bloomberg News headline declaring that hookup culture was waning “amid assault alarm.” According to the piece, heightened awareness about sexual assault on college campuses and a greater move toward justice for survivors has made some college men’s boners shrink in terror. We are, it seems, meant to feel alarmed at these shrinking boners.

Sex and relationships are always tricky terrain for college students. Those arriving this year are finding schools awash in complaints and headlines about sexual assault and responding with programs aimed at changing campus culture that has been blamed for glorifying dorm-bed conquests, excusing rape and providing a safe haven for assailants. For many young men, it’s an added dimension in a campus scene that already appears daunting, said William Pollack, a Harvard Medical School psychologist.

Pollack said a patient recently told him about making out with a girl at a party. Things were going fine, the student said, when suddenly a vision of his school’s disciplinary board flew into his head.

“‘I want to go to law school or medical school after this,’” Pollack said, recounting the student’s comments. “‘I said to her, it’s been nice seeing you.’”

Malik Gill, the former social chair of the Sigma Chi fraternity at Harvard University, told Bloomberg he has witnessed something similar happening among his friends. He recounted an anecdote in which he gave one of his guy friends a woman’s number after she had expressed interest. Gill’s friend never called her. “Even though she was interested, he didn’t want to pressure her,” he explained. “He was worried about making her feel uncomfortable.”

Earlier in the piece, Gill said he no longer offered female classmates beer at parties because he doesn’t want to “look like a predator … it’s a little bit of a blurred line.”

And here again is the trouble with how we talk about sex, consent and sexual violence in the United States. There are so many ways to flirt and have really enjoyable casual sex without being predatory, but we never talk about them. The importance of listening to the person you’re interested in having sex with and being alert to non-verbal cues certainly isn’t being taught in schools, and this kind of thing generally isn’t modeled in pop culture. So we have a vacuum about relationships and healthy sexuality. And that vacuum gets filled by banana brains like George Will, Caitlin Flanagan and the people on Fox News who can shout the loudest, people who believe that much of what’s called sexual assault is actually just “regretted sex,” a product of the “ambiguities of hookup culture.”

Which is why we now have young men telling Bloomberg News that they basically view their female peers as rape bombs just waiting to explode and ruin their lives. “Some men feel that too much responsibility for preventing sexual assault has been put on their shoulders,” according to one of the men interviewed for the piece.

This is what happens when we when we publish stupid piece after stupid piece blaming women’s behavior for sexual assault, when we don’t encourage young people to communicate openly and regularly during romantic and sexual encounters, when we don’t teach affirmative consent or really any kind of sex education.

The Bloomberg piece is mostly framed to support the idea that women cry rape and that asking men to assume any responsibility to prevent sexual assault is asking too much. I don’t doubt that young men with little sexual experience feel anxiety about negotiating new relationships and sexual encounters, but claiming that the push for more education, a focus on consent and stronger systems of accountability to hold perpetrators accountable somehow means that men can’t call women on the phone to ask them on a date is absurd.

But not all college guys see themselves as the victims of a newly galvanized movement to prevent sexual assault. An incoming freshman from North Carolina named Clark Coey told Bloomberg that he is aware of the schools that are under investigation for Title IX violations, and is “concerned how [consent] will be defined when other students, including women, may be using drugs and alcohol that affect their decision-making.” Coey is the only person interviewed in the piece who makes clear that more education is needed to address consent and healthy relationships in the brave new world of university life. “I haven’t learned anything about consent since I was a freshman in a health class,” he said. “They have to give you a better understanding of what’s right and what’s wrong.”

More people should listen to Clark Coey. He is correct.

The best sex tips you’ll ever hear — from a man with no penis

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Leave it to a man with no penis to school the Internet on sexual intimacy. That’s what happened when a man who allegedly lost part of his genitals in a childhood accident took to Reddit toanswer questions about life without a phallus.

gZdrmUuUnder the evocative screen name “penisindoor,” he claimed that at age 12 he put his erect member through a door crack to tease his buddies and one of them — a friend who was, in “penisindoor’s” words, unfamiliar with the basic laws of physics — slammed it shut. After a trip to the hospital, he says he was left with just the stump of his penis, fully intact testicles and a rerouted urethral opening. (He provided photographic evidence, if you’re interested.) The 30-something-year-old is fully capable of orgasm and ejaculation, he says. And, no, the absence of a penis does not prevent him from having sex with his girlfriend.

This last bit came as a shocking revelation to some redditors. How, they wanted to know. Sex equals penis in vagina, right? How can you have sex without a penis?! “I still have part of my shaft under there which still has nerve endings,” he wrote in response. “Use your imagination for the rest.” He added, importantly, “Any loving couple can be intimate.” Those just might be two of the best sex tips around: 1) Use your imagination, and 2) Any loving couple can be intimate. Seriously, sit with that for a minute. So much energy is spent trying to gather wisdom on being “good at” sex. From puberty on, we develop encyclopedic knowledge of all the many positions and moves two or more people can do. We agonize about our anatomy: Is my penis too small? Is my vagina tight enough? Are my boobs big enough?

Great sex is so much simpler than all that — and “penisindoor” has that figured out. Don’t get me wrong: Penises are great. They’re super awesome. Indeed, “penisindoor” misses his enough that he’s hoping to get an experimental and risky penile transplant — and best of luck to him. But his story shows that sexual pleasure and intimacy are way bigger than any dick could ever be. Relatedly, a study just came out finding that lesbians and men of all sexual orientations experience more orgasms than heterosexual women. (We needed science to tell us this?) It just goes to show that penis-in-vagina sex is just one kind of sex, and that it certainly isn’t inherently the most mutually pleasurable kind.

Sex therapist Ian Kerner told me, “As a culture, we are very much caught up in the ‘intercourse-discourse’ which privileges penis-vagina sex over other forms of sex-play, but there are many pleasure-paths worth exploring,” he said. “Between a creative, caring sexual mind and a fully functional penis, the former will more consistently generate orgasms than the latter.” And, for the record, sexual pleasure is not all that uncommon in extreme cases of injury like this one. “Orgasm and ejaculation are separate processes and even men with severe spinal injuries are known to experience the former, so it’s not at all unlikely that this man would be able to experience the pleasurable sensations of gratifying sex in his own particular way,” says Kerner.

I showed the AMA to Debby Herbenick, a sex research at the Kinsey Institute, and she loved “penisindoor’s” perspective. “We all have things we cannot change in life whether it’s our body shape or our age, or that we’re all aging, or our breast asymmetry or an STI or a special interest,” says Herbenick, author of “Sex Made Easy: Your Awkward Questions Answered — For Better, Smarter, Amazing Sex.” “Whether we approach this feeling ‘stuck’ or from a perspective of possibility is a huge part of it.” She added, “Knowing that openness and imagination are important is valuable, as is understanding that intimacy is about more than parts. Arousal is about more than parts.”

Speaking of intimacy, “penisindoor” honored his girlfriend’s request that he keep the details of their sex life private. He gamely answered redditors questions unless they veered into territory his girlfriend was uncomfortable with. What a man, eh?

Now, all this comes with a great big caveat: His story has yet to be verified, his original post has been taken down and he didn’t respond to my requests for an interview — so who knows just how legit it is. But whoever “penisindoor” is, he exhibited a startlingly enlightened view of sex, the kind you rarely ever see in online forums filled with identity-obscuring screen names. It’s a welcome reminder in our dick-obsessed culture that sex can happen without a penis. Oh, also?Not all men have penises.