‘You’ve still got your socks on’: Husband’s last words before dying of heart condition during sex


Mark-and-Lucie-enjoying-each-others-company-on-the-beachA young mother has written a moving account of how her husband died as they made love – uttering his final words ‘You’ve still got your socks on’.

Lucie Brownlee found herself widowed at 36 following Mark Johnston’s sudden death.

The pair had been trying for a baby and were making love at what was judged to be the best possible time to conceive.

But the Government intelligence analyst suffered a catastrophic arrhythmia – an abnormality in the heartbeat – and could not be revived.

Lucie first wrote a blog, then a book about the intensely personal journey which helped her cope with her own grief – and helped others who have lost loved ones.

She told how Mark’s last words were: “You’ve still got your socks on” and explains her feelings since with searing honesty.

Lucie, 38, who has a six-year-old daughter by him, said: “I was just at a complete loss as to what to do after Mark died and I started the blog and then the book as a way of handling it.

“I had to be completely candid. I was watching the programme ‘One Born Every Minute’ on TV and thought that was the most intimate moment of someone’s life to show on telly.

“But nobody speaks about death and I just felt it was so traumatic and so completely shocking that I had to tell it all, exactly as it happened.

“It almost removes a bit of the power of death. I understand that some people feel such things should be private and I also respect that.

“But I have been very, very candid about it and the lovely thing is that I have had other widows and widowers read it, and tell me ‘thanks for being so honest’.”

A lecturer as well as an author, Lucie, who lives near Sedgefield, Co Durham, went through months of being unable to work after Mark’s death, but then used her writing to give voice to her feelings.

Mark, who worked at GCHQ and was just 37 when he died, had collapsed four years prior to his death. Medics discovered that his aorta had ruptured. But he was believed to be fit and healthy after an op.

On the day of his death, they had been making love at Lucie’s mother’s house.

Lucie recalled: “It wasn’t ideal but we didn’t want to miss out on the window to conceive. We had only just started making love when he collapsed.

“His last words to me were, ‘you’ve still got your socks on’. I thought he’d collapsed with his heart, but it didn’t cross my mind that he wouldn’t wake up.

“I don’t think you can ever reconcile that – you cannot accept it because it is unacceptable.

“The person I was before 8.14 on the evening of February 11, 2012 is completely different to the person I was after 8.15.

“I have become stronger and done things I never thought I would be able to do, and yet been as fragile as sponge sugar.

“A new person emerges, and this is what I mean about writing about the most intimate things – it is not that I don’t care what people think, it is just there are no rules on what you need to get through.”

Lucie admits she ‘drank like a fish’ and embarked upon a ‘completely inappropriate’ affair in the wake of Mark’s death.

She added: “I had a fling with a plumber who had come round to do some work on my house.

“It was completely inappropriate, and my friends and family were worried that I wasn’t coping in the right way.

“But there is no appropriate way to deal with grief. Mine has been chaotic and unruly. There are no rules.”

Lucie started writing a blog in April last year and has just published “Me After You”. She added: “Once I did write again, it was lovely, because it was as though I was spending time with Mark every single day.

“He was such a positive person, so friendly and so loving.

“He was a one off in every possible way, including the way he died.”


North Carolina police today arrested 19-year-old twin sisters on prostitution charges after they allegedly advertised their services online.


Katelyn and Sarah Lothrop were nabbed early this morning by Raleigh Police Department officers. The siblings are pictured in the above mug shots.

The sisters were each charged with aiding and abetting prostitution. Sarah (seen above at right) was also charged with failing to appear in court in connection with a 2013 misdemeanor case. Sarah is locked up in lieu of $8000 bond, while Katelyn is being held on $4000 bond.

lewis1A third defendant, Michael Lewis, was also arrested and charged with aiding and abetting prostitution. According to a police report,the 27-year-old Lewis (seen at right) and the Lothrop twins were arrested at an address that corresponds with a La Quinta Inn & Suites adjacent to the Crabtree Valley Mall.

In a June 13 Facebook post, Katelyn told a male acquaintance that she and her sister were working to “get our shit together” and “trying to turn our live around and better our selves.” The message, which referred to prior drug use, concluded, “we bout to start workin makeing honest money.”

In a Backpage.com ad posted last night, the Lothrops–calling themselves “Kerri” and “Krystal”–sought “Fellaz” in “need of two sexy young twins with excellent talent.” Noting that, “We have a perfect body with the softest skin,” the ad offered to “make your dreams come true & then some.” The online pitch–headlined “Hot and sexy beautiful fun Twins”–included four photos of the underwear-clad women posing in a bathroom mirror. In one shot, seen below, Sarah’s face is not obscured.


Guy Gets Arrested At The Park For Laying Naked On A Picnic Table And Jerking Off In Broad Daylight


Screen-Shot-2014-07-15-at-10.05.57-AMAn Iowa City man has been charged with indecent exposure after an alleged incident in Ryerson’s Woods Park. According to a criminal complaint, two witnesses reported seeing Gerald C. Meyer, of Ellis Avenue, lying naked and masturbating on a picnic table at 8:16 p.m. Sunday. When the witnesses confronted him, Meyer said he was “playing with himself,” police said. Police say they found Meyer, 43, in a van matching the witnesses’ description and the witnesses identified him in a six-photo lineup. Meyer is charged with indecent exposure, a serious misdemeanor. He was booked and released Sunday.

First of all, that guy looks like Christopher Walken, right?  Like a lot?  Yeah, he does.  After I saw that mug shot and read the story all I could think about was him saying to the witnesses was “I’m playing with myself” in Walken’s voice and then going off into a long monologue about a gold watch he had hidden in his ass.  That gave me a good laugh.  Second, it’s pretty clear what he was trying to avoid here.  Tan lines.  Ever heard of them?  Those things can be the goddamn devil, they look ridiculous and there’s no telling how long they’ll last.  Just ask Big Cat.  And there’s nothing more boring than laying out to get a tan.  You literally just lay there and let the sun cook you like a piece of bacon.  It’s boring as shit.  I don’t know how girls do it all the time but they love it.  So maybe this guy is looking for a way to break the boredom and, whoops, all of a sudden he’s nakedly jerking off while laying on a picnic table in the middle of a public park.  Hey, it happens.  When you break it down like that you could totally see it happening to anybody.  All the pieces are there for a rational argument to be made that he’s simply hyper aware of his physical appearance and wanted to look as good as possible.  Or he’s just a lunatic weirdo who likes to get off on picnic tables in the park.  Either way.

Parents Claim Son Committed Suicide After Masturbation Video Went Viral


The parents of a teenager who committed suicide last year say he took his own life after another student filmed him masturbating in a school bathroom then posted the video online.

Matthew-BurdetteMatthew Burdette killed himself on November 29. His family had noticed the once happy, popular teen had become withdrawn in the days leading up to his suicide, but say they never saw it coming.

Matthew left a note that stated he had no friends and that he could no longer handle school. Wanting answers, his family started asking questions – starting with school officials at University City High School.

They say school officials wouldn’t tell them anything about what may have happened at the school to have caused Matthew to suddenly hate school so bad that it would be part of his reasoning for ending his own life.

However, other students didn’t have such issues. They told Matthew’s family that their son was being relentlessly bullied over a video that was posted online that went viral.

Two weeks before Matthew committed suicide, he was asked to leave a classroom for eating sunflower seeds. As he wandered the halls, he made a stop in one of the school’s bathrooms. Unbeknownst to him, another student videotaped him in a stall, allegedly masturbating.

The student who filmed him then used SnapChat and Vine to post the video online and within hours, the video had gone viral.

“It went beyond his school. It went to other schools in California. Kids in the neighborhood who didn’t go to Matthew’s school had heard about it and seen the video that was taken of him,” said the boy’s aunt.

As you can imagine, the last two weeks of Matthew’s life was pretty shitty as he was teased and harassed mercilessly by his peers. His family has now gone public with the story in hopes of getting more answers, have changes made within the school district and to get through to other kids.

“I don’t have hatred for the kid who took this video. He was a dumb kid who did a dumb thing. But these kids don’t get it. They don’t realize how big the cyber bullying world is,” said Burdette’s aunt.

The family have also filed a claim against the San Diego Unified School District. You can read their claim here.

Attorney Allison Worden, who is representing the family, said the teacher kicked Matthew out of class with no direction on where to go, leaving him to wander the school. She also said the school district failed to protect Matthew under the California Student Safety and Violence Prevention Act of 2000 and the California Safe Place Act.

The school district released the following statement:

“At San Diego Unified, the safety and well-being of our students is a top priority. The district also adheres to the privacy and confidentiality laws and regulations related to students, families and ongoing investigations. For this reason, the district cannot provide details about Matthew Burdette’s death. Our hearts and thoughts continue to be with his family and loved ones.”

Baseball Coach Michael & His Wife Blair Had Sex With Young Teen Player


2n8be6xA pair of Mississippi high school softball coaches who are husband and wife allegedly had sex with a 15-year-old student, including at least once in the press box on school grounds, prosecutors say.

Cops charged Michael Porter, 27, the onetime softball coach at Ridgeland High School, and his 26-year-old wife Blair Porter, a former assistant softball coach at Ridgeland and teacher at Old Towne Middle School, each with a count of sexual battery of a child, WLBT-TV reported.

The allegedly deviant couple were busted after the teen’s mother learned the Porters were in touch with the girl, a player on the softball team, in a way that “went well beyond that of a teacher student relationship,” according to a police document.

2i766itThe mom was worried the sexual relationships may have begun when the girl was in middle school, according to the news station.

Cops searched text messages sent between the couple and student and found naked pictures and dirty language, according to police. When confronted by cops, the girl admitted to having sex with the couple, once at their Brandon home and another time in the press box at Ridgeland High School, documents show.

The couple both had oral sex with the girl, documents show.

The Porters were arrested Friday; Michael was released on $25,000 while his wife was let go on $5,000 bond.

Both have been fired from their jobs in the school district. Each faces up to 30 years in prison on the charge.

Vagina Exerciser Rewards A Hard Workout With Vibrations



kGoal is a smart Kegel trainer and functions as both an exercise tool and a performance monitoring and guidance system. It measures the force exerted by squeezing your pelvic floor muscles and can communicate that information back to you via a phone and/or the device itself. Using the device and corresponding app is like having a personalized gym, physical therapist, and tracking system by your side whenever you want.

An Oil to Get Your Lady Parts Stoned


“Hey honey. Wanna get my vagina high?” I asked my boyfriend, knowing the answer would be a moment of silence with dropped jaw and googly eyes, followed by “Yes,” and then a confused “Wait, what?”

ForiaBottlesEnter Foria to the bedroom: a cannabis-and-coconut sexual enhancement oil for women* – loosely put, a weed treat for the lady parts made to stimulate and heighten sexual response, induce relaxation and lubrication, and relieve tension. Sounds like magic, right?

Although giddy for the chance to lube with bud, I have to admit I was also nervous. I’m not a fan of smoking or ingesting marijuana. Lame, I know, but the littlest hit or nibble makes me paranoid and creepy. Sure lots of folks enjoy a romp after a puff or wanking while they float on edibles – cannibis is an age-old aphrodisiac. I just didn’t want to ruin a good hump with some hyper-cerebral activity.

Turns out, my cooter would have me covered. The vaginal walls absorb and metabolize differently than the rest of the body and introducing cannabis via muff results in a very special kind of sexual healing. (Sorry dudes – same doesn’t apply for the penis. Try your butt!). My box would feel nice tingly things, but not my brains. Also, the coconut oil is good for balancing a healthy pH level in your vag – score! Time to get it on.

The directions are simple: do a spritz spritz of the liquid marijuana all over the lips, the clit, outside and inside the baby maker before sexy time and wait 15-30 minutes for it to soak in. If you apply it when you’re already wet, the weed will have a harder time penetrating.

To give the product a fair chance, I decided to play a few times during the week before reviewing. For my virginal venture, I kept it minimal and just slicked the outside. Almost immediately things felt warmer. My boyfriend and I traded massages during the 20-minute wait time. The anticipation that accompanies this oil might be the hardest/best part. Knowing something is down makes it hard to resist the full act.

By the time we got to heavy petting I felt real nice and engorged. I liked the slick, silky texture and ended up coming from clit stimulation pretty quick. The penetration was the cherry on the special cake.

The next day I amped up the amount of oil for round two – the boy and I snickered while he parted my legs and got me with the ganja. We tried to be oh-so- patient, but could only wait 15 minutes before he went down on me – did I forget to mention this oil is edible? Important to keep in mind, if you do lick it up, the effect is the same as eating a weed brownie or truffle – body buzz!

We had a real nice time, my sensitivity was definitely increased, and my orgasm felt full and round. After this afternoon delight, the boyfriend and I went our separate ways, tending to evening obligations. While I felt chill and focused the rest of the evening, he ended up real stoney, happily playing drums for hours with the scent of me, and marijuana, on his mustache.

Round three was a solo act accompanied by a vibrator. I felt very aware of “her” – my vagina and I really communicated. She felt awake. Invigorated, similar to that feeling you get when you wash your cookie with Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap. I liked the way my insides pulsated. The orgasm was definitely better than my usual handiwork – more luxurious.

In conclusion – yes, yes, oh yes. I’m usually not one for lube but if it comes with natural, heightened sensitivity, keeps me focused during the act, and leaves me with soft lips (both sets), I’m down. I might even try giving a little spray to my insides before my dinner date or a walk around town for a little in-the-pants secret party.

My puss is gonna be a total pothead.

*Foria is currently only available to California residents who have a medical marijuana card and join Foria’s collective.

Groom asks for divorce from his wife… on their wedding night


Broken-wedding-ringsDivorce is now a part of life and hearing that a married couple have broken up is nothing new.

However, when the pair decide to separate on their wedding night, it is a different matter.

One groom in Saudi Arabia called off his wedding when he received a memory stick from his wife’s former lover showing intimate pictures of her.

They were at a hotel celebrating their nuptials, according to Kuwaiti news website Sabq, when he opened the contents of the device and saw the pictures.

He decided to divorce his wife on the spot, religious preacher Shaikh Ghazi Bin Abdul Aziz al Shammari said.

The spurned lover allegedly asked the bride to be in a relationship with him, threatening to unleash the pictures if she refused.

She told him she was getting married and wanted to start a new life. But apparently unable to take the rejection, the spurned lover released the pictures with a note telling the groom to look at them.

Al Shammari said: “The groom came to see me the next day and he was under strong emotional trauma.

“It was truly the shock of his life and he could not bear the scandal.”

Being A Male Porn Star Is Harder Than It Looks


Porn stars have it made. On the surface, “have sex with beautiful people for money” sounds like a no-brainer, but while it can be a “dream,” not enough people put emphasis on the “job” part. Cracked sat down with Lance Hart, veteran porn star, pornographer, and all around porn-type guy, to get the lowdown on getting down for a camera. Here’s what we learned:

#5. The Awesome Parts of Sex Are NOT Fun to Film

Normal sex is about two people enjoying each other’s bodies. Porn is all about looking right on camera, and that means some auteur is posing you to get the most artistic value out of your thrusting buttocks, even if you end up having doggy sex at an angle no human would ever choose to fuck in. For the woman, this often means that penis is pounding directly into parts of the vagina not meant to be pounded.

289540_v1But hey, the suck hits both genders. Deep throating is not always awesome. If a girl’s going down on you for a scene, she’s going to be at it for a long time. We’re still filming a movie, and it’s a universal rule that nothing worthwhile gets filmed quickly. So she gets tired, and eventually you start feeling molars on the head of your dick. The viewer wants to see you jackhammering her throat with your dick, so you’re basically ramming your cock into teeth. Getting paid to receive oral sex is basically like getting your dick chewed on for an hour.

Also, lube gets on everything. I’m talking absolutely every part of your body and beyond. I shoot in my apartment a lot (phrasing), and now every doorknob has lube on it. On a hardwood floor, it’s like black ice: My cats slip and go flying across the oiled-up wood on an hourly basis. (At least I sure hope that’s lube.)

#4. There Are Crazy Double Standards

289530_v1I do gay and straight porn, which makes me a little bit of a unicorn (screwnicorn?). In my industry, I’m what they call a “crossover,” which can be a bad thing. Since I’m a crossover, I’m on a “never work with that dude” list for many female porn models. It’s all because the straight side and the gay side have different standards of STI testing. Models in straight porn often do not wear condoms, but the STI testing is rigorous and provides a safety net around our genitals. In gay porn, we always wear condoms for anal scenes. Any productions that film anal without condoms are in their own super extra separate world of gay porn with their own extremely rigorous STI testing methods (also very safe, but separate from the rest of the gay porn biz). So the straight side thinks the gay side is weird, and the gay side thinks the straight side is weird, and everybody thinks the vores are weird (because they’re weird).

289544_v1Another thing: The condom law that recently got passed is a hot topic, in exactly the sort of way condoms usually aren’t. If you live in California and you voted on it, what you read on the ballet was “Do you think sex workers should have to wear condoms?” It’s like “Should kids learn how to read?” Of course! But then there’s the reality of it: Say a girl’s doing a typical shoot with a guy. It’ll wind up as 10 minutes of porn after editing, but it’s gonna take four hours to film. And if you’ve ever had sex with a condom for four hours, congratulations on your nerve-deadened penis! Now apologize to your partner, because condoms are rough. Abrasive. They cause tiny microscopic tears in the vagina. You’re running around after your marathon sex-epic high-fiving strangers on the street, but keep in mind that you basically just spent the runtime of Return of the King lightly sanding your partner’s genitals.

#3. Anal Sex Scenes Are Difficult


289528You might eyeball a guy’s dong and think “He’s not that big,” and then he puts it in your ass and you realize just how large the head is. Here’s a bit of folksy wisdom: You never know what something’s going to feel like in your butt until it goes in your butt. There you go, kids: That’s the new YOLO.

Also, it’s like Miss Manners always said: If you’re shooting an anal scene, you’ve got to clean out your butt first. And buttholes can be, well … buttholes. So after an hour of filming, you’ve digested your breakfast, and … long story short, you’ve got to clean it out again. The best way to do that is with an enema. I was having a lot of anal one day thanks to two girls with strap-ons, and while I was in the bathroom cleaning out my butt, I saw James Franco next to me washing his hands. Apparently he was making some sort of art film in the same building. Someone walked by and said, “Hey, Mr. Franco!” I wanted to shake his hand, but … butt.

I told the story to my friend, and he was like, “James Franco saw you naked?”

And I replied, “Well, I had a dog collar on.”

#2. Erections Are Fucking Impossible

If you’re a man, at some point in your life you have found yourself lacking an erection when an erection would’ve really come in handy. Maybe you needed to measure something less than 4 inches and a ruler was not to be found, or maybe you needed to point to something when both of your hands were full.

289532_v1Porn stars are not exempt from ninja erections. Erections are 90 percent mental, so usually you need to relax. And the first part of relaxing is accepting the situation. You don’t stress out, like “Oh fuck, why am I not hard? Don’t look at me! I can feel your judgmental eyes on my dick!” You just say, “Welp, this flag ain’t flying,” then you let everyone on the set know: “Hey, guys, it’s gonna take me a minute to get this dick going, whoever wants to grab a soda or something, you probably got time.”

A lot of times, easing the pressure fixes it. Sometimes it’s a blood problem — like if I’m in a situation where I’m upside down and a lot of blood flows to my head, or if I’m standing and it all flows to my feet. Most people I work with try Viagra, Cialis, or some sort of herbal over-the-counter thing they bought from the cleanest sex shop they could find, but those don’t always do the trick if you’re exhausted or starving or chained to a wall upside-down for too long.

Some guys use an injection called TriMix. I’ve never used it, but apparently you literally stab a needle into your penis and inject the TriMix, then it keeps you hard for hours. Even after you cum, you just walk around with an obstinate boner all day. It’s not common, exactly, but it’s not unheard of.

There’s also a gel version of TriMix, and I’m going to quote the manufacturer for you on this one:

“TriMix-gel is an effective ED medication that is used as an alternative for patients who have failed on Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis and who cannot bring themselves to self-inject with a needle into their own penis.”

Note how it just drops that some people can’t “bring themselves to self-inject” into their own penis, as if you’re some mincing pansy because you don’t want to puncture your own genitalia.

#1. There Are Surprising Benefits to Fetish Porn

289554_v1Fetish porn can be some of the easiest money you’ll ever make. The first girl I ever filmed was 22 and wanted to be a nurse. She had a daughter, and they’d just left her abusive husband. I make fetish porn, and she found my ad online and called me at 3 a.m. I paid her $2,000 to make a bunch of films with me, none of which required her to have sex or even be fully nude. Most of them were her talking about her feet or her butt or looking at the camera and saying, “I’m gonna kick you in the balls.” You’d think people could get that kind of treatment for free just by answering their cellphone during a movie or something, but no — it’s a huge market.

Of course, some kinks are easier than others: Bondage can be really difficult. If you’re tied up, you’re losing blood flow. The instant someone cinches up those zip ties, of course you will immediately have an itch, so now you’re trying to fight that and stay hard the whole time. Many times I’ve been tied up, suspended from the ceiling … then the camera gets low on batteries, or a motorcycle goes by, and the scene takes an eternity to resume, and I’ve got to be hard the whole way through.

And there are the hidden pitfalls of exploring fetishes: For example, I had no idea I’d be turned on by clowns. But a couple of months ago, I was filming with this girl and got fucked in the ass by Harley Quinn (the Joker’s girlfriend) while I was dressed as Robin. For the next clip, she was like, “I’m already Harley, so let’s just put some clown makeup on you,” and, well … I guess I like clown porn now.

What will they think of next …. Fleshlight Holding iPad Attachment Now A Real Product


Don’t act like you’ve never thought about it.


Because who hasn’t dreamed of humping a tablet, Fleshlight has just announced that the LaunchPAD, a Fleshlight-holding iPad case, is now a real $25 product (Fleshlight not included). You just clip the device to your iPad, insert a Fleshlight, insert your johnson, and go to town on whatever p0rn you’re watching.

Keep going for a weird commercial featuring a guy FaceTime-humping his long distance girlfriend. NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW product site.