BOTTOMS UP! Cops Allegedly Find Driver Sitting Pantless On Whisky Bottle

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A woman arrested on suspicion of DUI made a memorable impression on officers for allegedly sitting naked on top of an empty bottle of whisky.

justinekingpicJustine King, 33, was arrested Sept. 30, after officers allegedly found her sitting naked from the waist down in a blue Chevrolet Malibu that she crashed, KDKA TV reports.

King’s pants were under the car’s pedals and she was sitting on a bottle of Black Velvet whisky, according to an affidavit filed Jan. 15 as part of the court case against her. The documents were obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Officers told King to put her pants and exit the vehicle. She allegedly responded, “I don’t have any pants! I left my home without them!” the affidavit said.

The report says King was finally pulled from the car, handcuffed and placed into a cab, all while being “extremely belligerent, kicking, pulling away, and struggling.”

The suspect initially refused to identify herself, telling authorities, “The government got my name. You ain’t getting it! Ask the government.” On the way to the station, officers said King kept “banging her head off the inside of the window panel.”

King was taken to a nearby hospital, but refused to take a blood test or put on pants, according to SundayWorld.com.

King was arrested on charges of drunken driving, resisting arrest, reckless driving, open lewdness, and disorderly conduct.

For Only Third Time In Recorded History, Man Is Arrested For Driving Zamboni While Intoxicated

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A North Dakota man was arrested Friday night for driving a Zamboni under the influence.

zambonidwiPolice were summoned to the South Sports Arena in Fargo by witnesses who reported that Steven Anderson, 27, was driving the ice resurfacing machine in an erratic manner. Anderson, a seasonal worker at the municipal facility, was operating the Zamboni between periods of a girls high school hockey game.

Anderson, seen in the above mug shot, was arrested after cops concluded that he was intoxicated. Charged with DUI, Anderson was booked into the county jail, from which he was released yesterday after posting bond.

In a Twitter post with the hashtag “bumperzamboni,” a spectator at the arena reported that, “I’ve never seen a zamboni have so much trouble around the edges.” Anderson was fired after his arrest.

zamboniAccording to Cass County court records, Anderson was busted in mid-December for drunk driving (a car) and possession of drug paraphernalia. He pleaded guilty last month to those misdemeanor counts and was ordered to perform community service and pay about $1100 in fines and fees. A 30-day jail sentence was suspended by a Municipal Court judge.

Anderson’s rap sheet also includes a 2009 conviction for public consumption of alcohol.

A check of the TSG archive reveals two prior arrests for drunk Zamboniing. In 2005, a 63-year-old New Jersey man was popped after a manager called cops to report that the man was recklessy careening around the Mennen Sports Arena in Morris County. In 2012, a Minnesota man was nabbed after repeatedly bouncing the Zamboni off the sideboards of a rink in Apple Valley. When cops confronted the man, he smelled of booze and was unsteady on his feet.

World’s Largest Breasts Visit Japan

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Who’s Norma Stitz? Say the name a couple of times. What does it sound like?

Yes, you’re right in thinking that this is a play on words, a moniker. The lady in question is Annie Hawkins-Turner, and she’s the proud owner of the Guinness record for the largest pair of natural breasts in the world. She’s size 102ZZZ.

Understandably, the lady with mammaries weighing around 100 lb. is in demand. And in 2013, she paid a visit to the Land of the Rising Sun. The Japanese, connoisseurs of all things weird and fetishy, extended a warm welcome to Norma.

Woman Desperate to Kill a Cockroach Manages to Blow Up a Toilet

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The incident occurred in Taiwan, reports say the woman did not suffer any major injuries when the toilet went kaboom

Earlier this month, a woman in Taiwan somehow managed to blow up a toilet while desperately trying to kill a seriously nasty cockroach. No, really, check out the photo below to get a better idea of just how bad things turned out.

Woman-Desperate-to-Kill-a-Cockroach-Manages-to-Blow-Up-a-Toilet-471569-3

Apparently, cockroaches in Taiwan are so strong and powerful that, when it comes to killing them, simply stepping on them or hitting them over the head with a newspaper just doesn’t cut it. Steroids, perhaps? Could be.

The toilet was collateral damage

Reports say that the woman involved in this incident chanced to come across the creepy-crawler that ended up turning her life around while cleaning an office building in the municipality of Taoyuan City in northwestern Taiwan.

As soon as she laid eyes on the creature, the woman, identified only as an employee of a local clean-up firm, decided that she absolutely had to smite it. To this end, she first squashed the cockroach with her shoe. She then wrapped it in tissue paper and crushed it some more.

Just in case the creepy-crawler was the long-lost love child of the Hulk and Atom Ant, she then set the tissue paper the insect was wrapped in on fire and threw it into the toilet. Since the toilet had just been cleaned and was drowning in detergents, an explosion occurred.

The toilet didn’t stand a chance

The explosion that took place when the flaming tissue paper hit the cocktail of detergents turned out to be powerful enough to literally rip the toilet apart.

Whatever pieces of bug DNA might have remained intact after the cockroach had repeatedly been squashed were probably destroyed as well.

The good news is that neither the woman responsible for this catastrophe nor any the people who were at that time at work were injured when the toilet went kaboom, Metro informs.

One can only hope that, the next time she comes face to face with a roach, this lady will ask for help and let others send it to the underworld.

No, You Should Never Brag On Facebook About Your 16 Outstanding Arrest Warrants

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eddiefbA Texas man who bragged on Facebook about having 16 outstanding arrest warrants was busted after a tipster called cops to report the ill-advised online boasting.

Edward Smith, 22, was collared following a January 20 post reporting, “So, I have 16 warrants out right now. Lol they know where I’m at tho so, it must not be TOO bad.”

When cops in Mineral Wells, a city 80 miles west of Dallas, researched warrant records, they determined that Wells only had 14 active warrants, some of which were three years old. According to records, Wells has been cited for petty theft, driving without insurance, and other minor infractions (for which he owes more than $1400 in fines).

edwardsmithmugshotSmith–seen in the mug shot–was subsequently released from custody after agreeing to a fine payment schedule. While his personal page appears to have been deleted, an Eddie Smith “community” page has appeared on Facebook.

After Mineral Wells police arrested Smith, they went to Facebook and made their own post: “In the ‘you can’t make this up’ file, a subject posted on Facebook that they had a bunch of Mineral Wells PD warrants but we couldn’t do anything because they don’t live in the city limits…then we show up and arrest them on 16 warrants.”

People Experiencing Virtual Reality P0rn For First Time

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Note: Video is relatively SFW, but audio isn’t because people say a lot of dirty words when they’re describing their experience. Best watched on your phone under the covers before bed tonight.

This is a video of a bunch of folks demoing some virtual reality p0rn for the first time.