Indonesian Woman Called ‘Witch’ for Lizard Baby

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There’s the usual weird stuff, and then there’s just absolutely bizarre. A 31-year-old Indonesian woman in the remote village of Oenunto had been pregnant for 8 months when she suddenly had contractions. What came out of labor was a gecko, which had a whole village scared stiff.

 

The horror led to anger as a lynch mob would go after the woman, whose name is Debi Nubatonis, accusing her of practicing witchcraft. She and her family had been receiving threats ever since a midwife helped her give “birth” back in May 2014.

The episode had doctors baffled, who are adamant that there was no way that a human female could give birth to a lizard. Dr. Messe Ataupa, the Chief Medical Officer of the nearby city of Kupang, stated that a team was sent to the village to investigate the reptilian delivery.

“It is clearly nonsense to suggest that the woman gave birth to a lizard,” said Dr. Messe Ataupa. “There has never been a proven case of a living organism from one species giving birth to a different species, it just doesn’t happen.”

Various hypothesis are being thrown around in the debate on the Internet regarding the incident. The absence of an actual baby from the birth leads Dr. Ataupa to believe that it had been a phantom pregnancy, which is an actual medical condition.

He explained that discharge may have landed on a lizard during labor, which the midwife then saw afterwards and may have led her to put two and two together.

The midwife herself, whose name is Josephine Lydia Hellen Wadu, insisted on taking the lizard to Oenuntono Health Centre to file a report on it being the woman’s actual baby.

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Meanwhile, the news has made its rounds online and there are no indications of the angry mob letting up.

A Stool Bank in Massachusetts Will Pay You $40 a Day for Your Poo

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openbiome-stool-bank-550x275Massachusetts residents can now make a modest living out of their own bodily functions – by donating a sample of their poo. An independent non-profit stool bank called OpenBiome is willing to offer volunteers $40 per deposit, and what’s more, it’s all for a good cause. The stool samples will be used for fecal transplants, to fight the deadly superbug C. difficile, which affects more than 500,000 and kills 14,000 Americans per year.

If you’re wondering about fecal transplants, you can read all about the life-saving procedure in this feature we did a couple of years ago. At the time, there was only one doctor in the UK to have ever performed the transplant. Now, it seems that the treatment has become more popular and people are being invited to generously donate their poo at the OpenBiome stool bank.

Stool transplants are being praised by many doctors as a miracle cure for C. difficile, a bacterial infection that most commonly affects hospital patients. It causes fever, painful cramps, severe diarrhoea, and in some cases, life-threatening complications such as severe swelling of the bowel. Patients with recurring episodes are ill for several months, and only have a 75 percent chance of survival.

Your zombie-proof log cabin has arrived

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$24,000 zombie survival kit? Check. Ridiculously tricked-out vehicle to mow down the undead? Check. A collection of books to prepare yourself for what’s coming next? Check. What’s missing? A personal fortress to house it all. And today, my paranoid friends, is the day to knock that off your list.
Allow me to introduce the Zombie Fortification Cabin (aka, ZFC-1), a three-compartment compound from Tiger Log Cabins that will allow you to safely ride out the end-of-the-world in comfort. In the initial $113,000 package, you’ll find all of the materials needed to impress your friends and worry your neighbors, including: an upper deck with escape hatch, barbed wire, a garden section to grow food, toilet system, weight machines, kitchen with microwave, a record player (zombies hate analog), and an Xbox with Plasma TV.
Additional options include solar panels ($5,600), security cameras ($3,000), and the satisfaction of watching someone else build and install the thing ($21,000). For an undisclosed price, water cannons, spotlights, and flame throwers can also be installed. (I particularly like the flame thrower option in the garage because, why not!?)
zombie-cabin
To counter any customer concerns that this whole thing is more about marketing and less about realistic defense from zombies, all ZFC-1 cabins carry a “10-year anti-zombie guarantee” — with one caveat.
“Please note: we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10-year anti-zombie guarantee,” the website states. In other words, don’t bother saving the receipt.
To see more details about the Zombie Fortification Cabin — and to trick out your own post-apocalyptic survival pad — jump here.

Is This Panda Masturbating?

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Researchers may have finally discovered why panda bears are so finicky about their mates. It could be that nothing satisfies quite like the pleasure paw.

2841_502635_709601-2World Wildlife Federation researchers caught this panda allegedly touching himself following a meal of bamboo in the forests of Sichuan province. (There’s no date cheaper than a date with yourself!)

If the bear was really caught having “a quick wank,” as Shanghaist suggests, it might be a first for science. Or it might be a joke that sailed over our heads. Who cares. Look at him go!

‘Sims repeatedly masturbated while in the interview room despite numerous warnings from deputies to stop.’

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A robbery suspect was arrested Sunday after he returned to the same gas station and was identified by the customer he robbed, according to a Broward Sheriff’s Office report.

Johnny-Big-Sims-jpgJohnny Big Sims, 31, faces a charge of robbery by sudden snatching.

According to the arrest report, a man was purchasing items inside a gas station on Northwest 27th Avenue and was preparing to pay the clerk when Sims walked up behind the man and snatched $25 in cash from his hand.

The next day, Sims returned to the gas station and was identified by the customer, who also happened to be there, the report said. That customer called deputies, who arrived and detained Sims.

While Sims was being handcuffed, the man told deputies, “That’s him. That’s the one who took my money.”

According to the report, Sims repeatedly masturbated while in the interview room despite numerous warnings from deputies to stop. Sims eventually had to be placed in handcuffs to get him to stop.

This Burger Joint in Philly Has a Cheeseburger-Stuffed Donut

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Philadelphia-based PYT Burger makes some of the most mouth-watering, food-coma-inducing burgers anywhere.

One of their latest beauties is called the D’oh Nut burger, an homage to Homer Simpson and his legendary love of donuts. The contents forcefully stuffed inside this savory donut are your basic all beef patty and American cheese. The glazed donut itself is topped with bacon bits.

Mmmm… donut. Cheeseburger-stuffed donut.