High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

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A 41-year-old Florida man is facing a pantheon of charges after allegedly getting hammered on bath salts, declaring himself to be Norse storm god Thor, attempting to commit “a sexual act on a tree”, shrugging off two taserings, and assaulting a police officer.

1210048760706870307According to this report, Kenneth Crowder was spotted this month thundering through the streets of Melbourne, Southeast of Orlando, “yelling that he was a god” before getting arboreally jiggy.

When confronted by a police officer, Crowder approached the cop “in an aggressive manner and identified himself as God”.

A first tasering proved ineffective as the perp “pulled the probes out of his body and continued to fight”. A second high voltage blast ended similarly, as Crowder “again pulled out the probes and went at the officer with clenched fists”.

The cop then punched his adversary in the face “and a scrum ensued, with Crowder saying that he was Thor and trying to stab the officer with the officer’s badge”.

Police reinforcements were required to finally handcuff and shackle the alleged deity, who was arrested on charges of “battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence, and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer”.

Cops suspect Crowder was bombed on “flakka” – “a variation of synthetic substances known as bath salts” which offers “a cheap, powerful high while acting as an amphetamine”.

Bath salts is an umbrella term for designer drugs, commonly synthetic cathinones such as mephedrone, based on their apparent resemblance to Epsom salts.

Melbourne police spokesman Dan Lynch said of the drug: “We have spoken to some medical professionals here and they are starting to see an increase in its use. It’s already in South Florida and we think it’s coming here.” ®

Roommates stab each other with beer bottles in iPhone vs. Android dispute

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12587-6622-7487271_G-lKTUL reported that a woman found one of the men stumbling around Evergreen Apartments around 1 a.m., covered in blood. Police were called, and subsequent investigation discovered that the men had been drinking.

When the phone argument turned violent, the pair broke their beer bottles and stabbed each other. At one point during the fracas, one of the men smashed their bottle over the other’s head.

The seriousness of the injuries hasn’t been made public, nor is it yet clear whether police or either of the victims are planning to press charges.

The iPhone versus Android debate is a common trope in American culture. iPhone owners will often claim features such as a smoother interface, better-integrated features and higher build quality, while Android owners will point to things like cheaper prices, a more flexible operating system, and/or technical superiority in some models.

Android devices generally enjoy a larger marketshare, since the operating system is used by a wide range of phone makers. The iPhone however is frequently the most popular individual brand, particularly in countries like China and the U.S.

Former cop sues Kentucky hunting store after accidentally shooting off his own finger

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A former police officer has filed suit against a hunting and fishing store in Kentucky after shooting off his own finger when an employee gave him a loaded gun.

“He’s had multiple surgeries, thousands of dollars in medical expenses,” Smith’s attorney, B. Alan Simpson, told The Post in a phone interview Tuesday.

The accident at Barren Outdoors happened on March 26, when Darrell Smith asked to see a .380-caliber handgun, according to court documents. Simpson said Smith was merely curious about the gun and wanted to take a look.

“He was not necessarily going in to buy a specific gun or something like that,” Simpson said. “He just happened to be browsing through the cases and this particular gun caught his eye.”

The bullet passed through two fingers, and doctors couldn’t save Smith’s left index finger, Simpson said.

You can watch security footage from store here, and while it’s not gory or anything, I will remind you that it is a video of a person getting his finger shot off.

“Under no circumstances should they have had a loaded weapon in a display case to start with,” Simpson said. “The first problem clearly is that whenever this gun was brought into their inventory, they never checked the weapon. And right before they handed it to Mr. Smith, they obviously never checked the weapon a second time.”

Smith, who worked in law enforcement for about 30 years, is now unemployed, Simpson said.

The court documents, filed Friday in Barren Circuit Court, are below.

Attempts to locate an attorney for Barren Outdoors were unsuccessful. The store, which is located in Glasgow, Ky., declined to comment to WBKO,Bowling Green’s ABC affiliate.

I chew! Woman who was ‘fattened up’ by jealous boyfriend to deter love rivals says yes to marriage proposal after two years of binge-eating

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A jealous boyfriend who ‘fattened up’ his partner in a ploy to put off any love rivals has popped the question.

Jealous Groom Fattens Up Fiancee by Six StonesAttractive Yan Tai weighed just over seven stone when she began dating You Pan in South China’s Guangdong Province.

But two years on when You asked her to marry him she was almost unrecognizable, according to The People’s Daily.

Yan’s weight had almost doubled – after she ballooned up to 14 stone 2lbs.

But her six-and-a-half-stone weight gain was all part of a plan to keep You’s pretty girlfriend by his side forever.

Over months he made sure she ate as much as she could everyday, splashing out on meals for Yan almost every day.

The 20-year-old was treated to big breakfasts, huge lunches and massive dinners.

Jealous Groom Fattens Up Fiancee by Six StonesHe even woke her up and fed her midnight snacks in a bid to stop her attracting too much attention from other men.

Now the 25-year-old feeder has popped the question to his girlfriend with a bouquet made, most fittingly, out of Ferrero Roche.

The food-obsessed romantic even made the proposal to his ‘goddess’ at their favourite street of restaurants as friends held up pictures of the couple’s favourite foods.

Beaming with happiness, Yan said ‘yes’ and the happy couple sealed the deal with a kiss as friends at the venue cheered on.

You has now promised to feed her even more once they are married.

Man Blows Up Rental Car Trying To Kill Bed Bugs

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Because Florida can’t have all the fun, a Long Island man is being treated for first and second degree burns after blowing up his rental car trying to kill alleged bed bugs. Two other vehicles were also destroyed in the fire. Scott Kemery apparently doused the interior of the car with alcohol, then lit a cigarette while sitting in the driver’s seat. Not the smartest combination.

Idiot Long Island H.S. Students Wear Homemade “Auschwitz” T-Shirts With Swastika

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From the Long Island high school that last year saw male students wear t-shirts spelling out the word “Rape,” comes two more underage idiots.

The Commack High School duo–photographed while playing beer pong at a party–proudly displayed homemade t-shirts with a Nazi swastika and the word “Auschwitz.”

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While the photo was taken off school grounds, education officials are reportedly investigating the students, who could face disciplinary action.

In a staement, school district brass noted that, “the actions of these students are not representative of the student body at Commack High School. We do not condone or permit any form of discrimination, bullying, or hateful messaging.”

11-year-old busted after pulling armed robbery with BB gun

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New Orleans police said they arrested an 11-year-old bandit Wednesday morning after the boy armed with a realistic-looking BB gun robbed a pedestrian in the Carrollton area.

16799659-mmmainPolice said the boy pulled the gun and robbed a man who was out walking his dog near the corner of Forshey and Short streets around 7:45 a.m.

The boy, who had his face covered his with a gray sweatshirt, asked the man for directions, and then asked for money, police said. The man gave the boy directions, police said, and the boy pulled a gun form his waistband when the man said he didn’t have any money.

The young suspect demanded the man empty his pockets. Police said the man disarmed the boy, who then fled on foot.

The man called police from the Magnolia Discount gas station on South Carrollton Avenue, one block from where the robbery occurred.

An NOPD task force unit was positioned near the gas station following a spate of recent robberies there.

Because of the juvenile’s age, his identity was not revealed by police. But NOPD 2nd District Cmdr. Paul Noel said at the department’s weekly public crime statistics meeting that he was the second armed robbery suspect under the age of 12 arrested in the Uptown district so far this year. Just over a week earlier, 2nd District officers arrested a 12-year-old who attempted an armed robbery of a victim in Uptown from atop the saddle of his bike.

New Orleans police said a unit positioned near the Magnolia Discount gas station on South Carrollton Avenue was in position to pounce quickly when an 11-year-old held up a man with a BB gun one block away near the intersection of Forshey and Short streets.

In Wednesday’s robbery, Noel told the department’s command staff, the BB gun brandished by the boy appeared frighteningly realistic.

“It looks like those old Berettas we used to carry,” he said. “If you look at it, it looks exactly like a real gun.”

The Magnolia Discount located at 3415 South Carrollton Ave. came under increased surveillance after it was hit by armed robbers on two consecutive Sundays. The location was robbed by a masked man on Easter Sunday (April 5), then was hit again April 12 by a woman armed with a gun and covering her face with a bandana.

That female suspect laid her gun down on a counter, giving a clerk the opportunity to hit her in the head with a large beer bottle, police said. She managed to escape with stolen money but her weapon is being analyzed by police crime lab technicians. Police are investigating whether the man and woman who robbed the gas station and convenience store are perhaps working as a team.