Track Your Farts With an App

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Back in 2008, during the early days of the Android mobile operating system, there were only a few hundred apps to choose from in Google’s marketplace. A ton of those apps were variations of fart sound effect generators. Which meant, inevitably, a sh*t ton (pun intended) of fart apps proliferating in both the Android and iOS marketplaces.

But out of the storm came one brave developer, who chose to add purpose to digital pooting: with the Fart Code app.

We knew that wearables could be way more fun.

We scanned a bottle of hickory-flavored barbecue sauce and were surprised to get a “Gross” fart rating, with the culprit ingredient being fructose.

Fart Code, it turns out, is more of an analyzer than a toy. It uses your iPhone’s camera to scan the barcodes of food products. It then checks the ingredients and tells the user what kind of fart it will likely produce, and what’s in the food that causes it. Types of farts are ranked on a scale from “Stinky” to “Toxic,” and the ingredients are explained.

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If that’s not enough to for you, Fart Code also mimics the sound of the fart, and vibrates to match the effect said fart would have on your digestive system. For example, we scanned a bottle of hickory-flavored barbecue sauce and were surprised to get a “Gross” fart rating, with the culprit ingredient being fructose. All this time, we were blaming the pounds of grilled meat.

And yeah, maybe the thing is meant for “education,” as the grownups will tell you: so says Margaret Johnson, executive creative director and partner at the GS&P advertising group. “It’s a fun and engaging way to get kids to think about what they are putting in their bodies,” Johnson said in a press release. But we adults are having fun with it, too.

There isn’t a version of Fart Code for Android yet — ironic, given their history of fart apps — so only iOS users will be able to scan and predict what will come out of their can. If you have an iPhone, iPod touch or iPad, it’s a freebie. Consider it a better time investment than Yo.

Shoplifter Used Walmart Motorized Wheelchair Cart As Her Getaway Vehicle

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After stealing $600 worth of merchandise from Walmart, a Michigan woman made her getaway on one of the store’s motorized wheelchairs, according to cops who collared her two miles from the retailer.

shirleymaemasonShirley Mae Mason, 46, was arrested Monday night and charged with the theft of the $1200 electric cart and six bags stuffed with clothing.

During questioning by police, Mason said that she decided to swipe the motorized cart after failing to secure a car ride from the store. Mason, according to a police report, said she just “didn’t feel like walking.”

Mason, seen above, was booked into the Muskegon County jail, from which she was later released after posting bond.

Last month, an 18-year-old New Mexico man was arrested for stealing a similar Walmart cart and driving it to a meeting with his probation officer at an Albuquerque courthouse.

Donald Hackman Jr Charged With Arson After Setting Girlfriend’s Vagina On Fire

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A 46-year-old Lititz man has been charged with assaulting a woman over several days, including lighting her genital area on fire, police said.

David-HackmanPolice charged Donald Dale Hackman Jr., of the first block of East Main Street in Lititz, with felony arson, aggravated assault, false imprisonment and misdemeanor simple assault.

The victim told police that Hackman, with whom she and her son had been staying with for about a month, assaulted her over the course of several days.

Hackman reportedly struck her repeatedly in the face and stomach with a closed fist and beat her several times with a belt, according to police.

It was during one of the assaults that Hackman lit her genital area on fire and yelled at her for screaming and crying. The victim told police that Hackman extinguished the flames.

The victim suffered second and third degree burns to her lower stomach, genital area and inner thighs, police said.

She was admitted to Heart of Lancaster Hospital and later the Lehigh Valley Hospital burn care unit where she is recovering, Lititz Borough detective sergeant John Schofield said.

“I’ve never dealt with injuries like that on any type of assault from a male toward a female victim,” Schofield said.

“My heart went out to this woman,” he said.

The victim also told police that Hackman locked her son inside a closet for approximately 20 minutes for “acting out” during the assault.

The victim’s son is being cared for by a family member, Schofield said.

Schofield said Hackman did not resist arrest when police knocked on his door at 11:30 that night.

“I believe he knew why we were there,” Schofield said.

Hackman was committed to Lancaster County prison in lieu of $500,000 bail.

Teen May Get 2 Years For Pic Of Fake Oral Sex With Jesus

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Will this boy get punished for coming to Jesus?

A Pennsylvania teen may face up to two years behind bars for allegedly taking a photo of himself simulating oral sex with a statue of Jesus, Kron 4 reports.

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The photo was taken in front of Love in the Name of Christ, a Christian organization in Everett, Pennsylvania, and posted on Facebook back in July.

On Tuesday, the 14-year-old — whose name has not been released by police — was charged with desecration of a venerated object, the Smoking Gun reported. If convicted, he could wind up spending two years in a juvenile jail, according to Kron 4.

“Desecration” is defined in Pennsyvlania as ““Defacing, damaging, polluting or otherwise, physically mistreating in a way that the actor knows will outrage the sensibilities of persons likely to observe or discover the action.”

Patheos.com notes that in Pennsylvania, a vandalism charge usually carries amaximum penalty of only one year in jail. JT Eberhard writes:

So let’s say an adult (subject to harsher penalties than minors) elected to spray paint “Jesus loves dicks” on the side of this boy’s school. That guy, at most (and the “at most” comes in to play for people with previous criminal records, which this boy doesn’t have), would serve a year in jail – and that’s assuming the cost of having the wall re-painted exceeds $150, otherwise the penalty would be less.

But a 14 year-old does something stupid that causes literally zero property damage and he could face two years in juvenile jail because it’s a “venerated object”? That’s insane. That’s really ludicrous.

The teen’s original Facebook post garnered 124 Facebook comments, ranging from “Amazing” and “this is heaven” to “this is repulsive, even if you don’t believe you could at least have respect for those who do and those who ARE going to Heaven…you discusting [sic], disturbed, disrespectful little punk ass bitch.”

A spokesperson for Love in the Name of Christ told Raw Story that the ministry did not ask police to press charges.

It’s going to be a bad day at the auto center when your first customer’s car is on fire and holding a dead body

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Police say someone shot 39-year-old Marlon Previs Taylor to death then left his body in a burning truck in front of the Sears Auto Center in Newmarket North Shopping Center Tuesday.

hampton+suspicious+death+mercury+blvd.Hampton fire crews put out a fire in the Dodge Dakota truck around 4 a.m.

“At the time, the weather conditions were pretty bad,” Hampton Police Division spokesman Sergeant Jason Price said. “Firefighters were dealing with heavy rain. they did put out the fire, however the deceased person was not discovered at that time.”

Someone passing the burned out truck at about 10:30 a.m. saw Taylor’s body.

An autopsy showed he was shot multiple times.

Former neighbors in Hampton and Newport News told 13News Now he worked in lawn care, in part, and that he was a member of Ivy Baptist Church in Newport News.

This is the second time in less than a week someone found a body in a burned vehicle is less than a week.

On Friday, September 5, a body was in the trunk of a car in Newport News.  Police said Thursday there is no indication that the two cases are related.

Boozed-up ancients drank beer before tearing corpses apart

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Boffins have discovered the remains of a hidden city two miles from Stonehenge, after creating digital maps of the ancient site to an unprecedented level of detail.

The researchers found 17 previously undiscovered religious monuments, as well as a huge burial mound, dozens of smaller ones and the remains of a timber building which may have been used to cut the flesh from bodies before they were put in the ground.

The ancients were also shown to have dug large pits, some of which may have been arranged to align with the stars, and drunk beer, judging by the presence of a load of ale pots.

The investigation was part of a scheme called the Stonehenge Hidden Landscapes Project, which was conducted by the University of Birmingham and the Ludwig Boltzmann Institute for Archaeological Prospection and Virtual Archaeology,

images“The rituals included exposure of the dead bodies, and defleshing on a large forecourt,” said Wolfgang Neuber of the Ludwig Boltzmann Institute.

Many of the discoveries were focused around the Durrington Henge, a 4,500 year old settlement which was thought to be occupied for part of the year and used for feasting.

The new research found that this second henge was flanked by up a 330-metre long chain of huge stones, which are buried in the banks around the henge.

Up till now, we had absolutely no idea that the stones were there,” said Professor Vince Gaffney of Birmingham University.

The stones are about three metres long and 1.5 metres wide, although they are currently laying on their side, buried beneath the banks of the henge. It is thought they were brought to the site at some point around 2500BC and may have stood upright.

Gaffney said the site showed that ancient people had the same passion for redecorating as their modern-day descendants.

“They did lots of strange things. They killed monuments, changed them, reappropriated them. They developed over many hundreds of years, so the people who started them were not the people who finished them,” he said.

To map Stonehenge and the surrounding area, the researchers used radar, laser scanners and magnetometers to scan up to three metres into the ground at a resolution of 10cm.

A programme called Operation Stonehenge: What Lies Beneath will cover the research. It is due to be broadcast on BBC Two at 20:00 BST on Thursday 11 September. ®

Up to 50 dead, frozen cats found in child porn suspect’s home

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Investigators serving a search warrant for child pornography at a home near Greenacres on Wednesday made a shocking discovery — at least 50 dead cats stashed away in four freezers.

West Ithaca CircleAnimal investigators, called to the scene at 7:30 a.m., also seized about 30 to 35 live cats, according to Capt. Dave Walesky, a spokesman for Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control.

Some of those cats were suffering from respiratory infections and other ailments, he said.

“The living conditions were not acceptable for the animals,” said Walesky, indicating that investigators seized the cats because their caregiver had been jailed, but also because the animals appeared to be showing signs of neglect.

In the early afternoon, neighbors gathered outside the home, in the 5900 block of Ithaca Circle West near Greenacres, and watched as live cats in cages and frozen cat carcasses in garbage bags were carried out one by one.

One neighbor told the group that her daughter called the residence “the cat house,” and another remarked how cats were always in the yard.

“They’re just coming from everywhere,” said neighbor Lorraine Fenner. “I had no idea there were so many in that house.”

Deputies on Wednesday were searching Douglas Westcott’s home as part of a child porn investigation when they made the grim discovery.

Officials haven’t confirmed why so many dead cats were stored in freezers, but said it’s possible that someone at the residence couldn’t bear to part with the felines.

In Westcott’s case, the 55-year-old man was adamant about keeping his animals, said

“He absolutely refused to surrender the cats,” Walesky said.

Detectives investigating Westcott in the child porn case also seized a computer, said Palm Beach CountySheriff’s Office spokeswoman Teri Barbera. Westcott was taken into custody on three counts of possessing material that depicts child sexual conduct.

It was not yet clear if Westcott would face any animal-related charges, Walesky said.

Veterinarians will examine the dead cats to determine what happened to them, but also to figure out how to care for the animals that are still alive, he said.

Neighbors said the street has been overrun with cats, and lately they’ve seen more and more strays running around the block. Fenner, who lives four houses down from Westcott, said she and her teenage daughter are constantly amazed at how many cats are running around.

She said she has called animal control to report the stray cat problem and suspects the cats might’ve been coming from her neighbor’s house. When she called animal control, she said an investigator came out to the neighborhood but never followed up with her.

“Now that I know the story, I am shocked.” Fenner said. “All summer long, [cats] just keep showing up and running across the road. Little did I know what was happening.”

Marie Jean-Pierre, a former resident of the neighborhood who was visiting friends Wednesday afternoon, said Westcott and his wife have been living in the house for at least 10 years. She said the couple is known for having a lot of cats and that children in the neighborhood often refer to it as “the cat house.”

“It’s crazy,” Jean-Pierre said. “I knew they had a lot of cats. They said the cats were like their kids. I don’t know what to say.”

According to Walesky, Westcott told animal investigators that he wants his cats back and that he will fight Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control to win back custody of his animals.

That decision could be made by a judge in about a month, Walesky said.

While officials determine why Westcott was keeping the animals, Walesky said this case shows signs of animal hoarding.

Typically, people who hoard animals live with an unmanageable number of dead or live animals and can’t separate themselves from them — regardless if they are dead or alive, Walesky said.