Is This Panda Masturbating?

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Researchers may have finally discovered why panda bears are so finicky about their mates. It could be that nothing satisfies quite like the pleasure paw.

2841_502635_709601-2World Wildlife Federation researchers caught this panda allegedly touching himself following a meal of bamboo in the forests of Sichuan province. (There’s no date cheaper than a date with yourself!)

If the bear was really caught having “a quick wank,” as Shanghaist suggests, it might be a first for science. Or it might be a joke that sailed over our heads. Who cares. Look at him go!

This Burger Joint in Philly Has a Cheeseburger-Stuffed Donut

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Philadelphia-based PYT Burger makes some of the most mouth-watering, food-coma-inducing burgers anywhere.

One of their latest beauties is called the D’oh Nut burger, an homage to Homer Simpson and his legendary love of donuts. The contents forcefully stuffed inside this savory donut are your basic all beef patty and American cheese. The glazed donut itself is topped with bacon bits.

Mmmm… donut. Cheeseburger-stuffed donut.

 

After being dumped, a man advertises for a new girlfriend. On Ebay

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When romantic Jake Dodridge booked a £650 break for himself and his girlfriend, he envisaged the trip as a nice way to break the winter blues.

But he was left heartbroken after long-term partner broke up with him just weeks before the trip was due to start. To make matters worse, lastminute.co.uk refused to give him an 11th-hour refund.

However, to stop the booking going to waste he is now advertising his girlfriend’s place on eBay, with bids starting at just 99p.

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Mr Dodridge said he was forced to advertise the place on eBay, with bids starting at just 99p, because lastminute.co.uk refused to give him an 11th-hour refund

The package includes flights and a stay at a four-star hotel, but Mr Dodridge is asking for any women to supply a photograph before he agrees to go with them.

In his online advert, the 21-year-old IT technician also states that only women between the ages of 18 and 30 can bid.

Mr Dodridge, from Newbury, Berkshire, said: ‘This isn’t something I would normally do, but when life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade.

‘I was upset when my girlfriend dumped me, but looking back it was the right thing to do. It just wasn’t meant to be.

‘But what is the point of wasting a perfectly good holiday? I want someone fun to come with me, who is up for a laugh.

‘I will obviously get their number before we go so I can chat to them and see if we get on.

‘It’s not about making money, I just want someone to go with so the holiday will go to the highest bidder. It will be a great first date.’

Breasty Russian Billboards Cause 500 Accidents In A Day

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The stunt, by an advertising agency specialising in mobile adverts, backfired after police sent out patrols to round up all the vehicles and impound them until the risque images could be removed.

Motorist Ildar Yuriev, 35, said: ‘I was on my way to a business meeting when I saw this truck with a huge photo of breasts on its side go by.

‘Then I was hit by the car behind who said he had been distracted by the truck. It made me late and left my car in the garage, and although I am insured I am still out of pocket.’

I was hit by the car behind who said he had been distracted by the truck

Furious drivers across Moscow have reportedly bombarded the agency with compensation claims.

A spokesman for AdvTruck.ru, which ran the promotion said: ‘We are planning to bring a new advertising format onto the market, encouraging companies to place their ads on the sides of trucks, as we thought this would be a good alternative to putting them on the sides of public transport.

‘We wanted to draw attention to this new format with this campaign’ he explained.

And he added: ‘In all cases of accidents, the car owners will receive compensation costs from us that aren’t covered by their insurance.’

Guy Offering 200 Dollars To Have Sex With His Hot Swinger Wife And Take Her To Foo Fighters

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I’m just assuming “she’ll show you a good time” is sex. At least in the real world it is.

 

 

I should actually say, guy is selling his wife to get her to leave him alone for a night. This right here is the very definition of a win-win all around. You, person already in possession of Foo Fighter tickets, gets a date to the show that you know will want to party after (fuck), and 200 dollars. Swinger Wife gets to see an awesome concert she is dying to see, and also gets to fuck. Guy with swinger wife gets a night to relax and watch football, shit with the door open, and drink beer in his underwear. And I know obviously the big elephant in the room is the whole “you’re letting someone take your wife out and fuck her” but they’re already swingers. He’s already seen way worse than this Foo Fighters guy can do. So like I said, this is a win-win-win. Any stoolie who has a pair of tickets would be a fool to pass this up. Just a few adults partaking in a simple cash and sex for tickets trade. Nothing more, nothing less.

One in 10 Brits admits to getting their annual vacations off to a good start by having sex while waiting at the airport

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Randy Brits have said holiday spirits and the thrill of not knowing if they’d get caught are the main reasons for having sex in airports.

Instead of doing crosswords, reading or simply catching up on sleep whilst waiting for a flight, nine per cent of UK travellers are getting down and dirty in airports loos and storage rooms.

1413366446476_Image_galleryImage_AC266R_Couple_in_the_restThe surprising results from a new poll conducted by flight comparison website Jetcost.co.uk revealed the growing trend of sexual encounters in terminals, suggesting the Airport Club is becoming as much of a phenomenon as the Mile-High Club.

Three quarters (76 per cent) choose to have sex in airport toilets while 21 per cent decided to take the risk in storage areas or rooms.

Twelve per cent people who had had a sexual encounter at the airport admitted they had been caught by either staff or members of the public.

When asked why they had sex at the airport, 32 per cent said they were ‘in the holiday spirit’ and 27 per cent admitted they wanted the ‘thrill’ of not knowing if they would get caught.

All respondents were also asked if they had ever had a sexual encounter on an aircraft, to which only four per cent admitted to it. Thirty-one per cent of these had been caught in the act.

More than 2,520 respondents from across the UK were quizzed about their airport experiences.

To determine whether this was purely a UK trend or something that was becoming popular in all Europe, 1,000 people from European countries were also polled.

The results showed that Italians (17 per cent) are the most amorous when it comes to sexual encounters in airports, followed by the Spanish (14 per cent). Eight per cent from Germany gave in to their desires whilst only three percent of the French did the same.

The poll also found that 79 per cent of Brit travellers spent their time eating and drinking and half (52 per cent) decided to while away the hours by reading.

Browsing duty free shops (30 per cent), sitting around waiting (24 per cent) and playing games (19 per cent) were some of the other things Brit holidaymakers did to pass time.

The poll was conducted by flight comparison website Jetcost.co.uk and 2,521 UK respondents aged 18 and over were quizzed about their airport experiences.

Antoine Michelat, co-founder of Jetcost.co.uk, said: ‘These results shocked us a little. We’re surprised that more people haven’t been caught in the act.

‘Clearly, intimate acts in airports are even more common than those that take place on planes! I suppose one of the reasons many people are tempted is the thrill of knowing you’re not supposed to be doing what you’re doing, where you’re doing it.’