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A nude bronzed lady queueing up at a service station checkout was completely blanked by staff and fellow shoppers in Poland

This is the moment a naked woman bought her lunch in a crowded shop – and nobody gave her a second glance.

None of the shoppers even managed a cheeky glimpse at her curves as she paid for a drink and a sandwich.

The woman just walked in and stood patiently waiting to be served at a garage in the city of Krakow, southern Poland.

Customer Cezar Zawadzki, 34, filmed the whole incident on his mobile phone.

The shocked motorist first noticed he had been filling his car petrol when he saw the young woman completely naked walking towards the garage, and then stopping at the ice-cold drinks cabinet.

He said: “I went inside to tell staff but the woman seemed to think I was mad and ignored me, and then I realised she was coming into pay so I grabbed my mobile phone.

“She completely ignored me and she didn’t seem drunk or on drugs, she just stood patiently waiting in the queue to be served so that she could pay for her drink and a sandwich.

“It was pretty hot, I reckon it was well over 30 degrees outside, but what surprised me most was not so much the nudity as the way everybody treated it is perfectly normal.

“The sales assistant served as if nothing was happening, and the blokes in the petrol station be much ignored her, they didn’t even sneak a crafty look. It was a really surreal experience.

“After she paid she just left the shop and back of down the road as if it was the most normal thing in the world.”

The Slow-Motion Milk-Vomiting Video You’ve Always Dreamed Of

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Some people really don’t like milk. But not many of us would chronicle our distaste by drinking copious amounts of the stuff and then vomiting it up while being filmed in super slow motion.

Daniel Gruchy, of the Slow Mo Guys, does the honors in the video above.

Slow Mo colleague Gavin Free tells us everything we need to know up front, calling it a “rather grim episode.” (Grim, of course, unless you enjoy viewing the projectile puking of cow product at 1,600 frames per second.)

Can’t get enough of someone guzzling, then upchucking? We have your hot sauce hurl right here.

Women’s Rowing Team’s Naked Calendar Briefly Banned On Facebook

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Students from the Warwick women’s rowing team decided to strip down for charity — and found themselves held up to a double standard.

This week, Facebook banned the group’s page citing “inappropriate content” — but allowed an identical page for the men’s team’s naked calendar to remain.

(Some images may be considered NSFW.)

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Following in the tradition of Warwick’s men’s rowing team, who have been selling naked calendars since 2009, the women’s rowing team shot their first nude calendar in 2013 to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support – creating quite a splash.

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Calendar organizer Sophie Bell told The Huffington Post that the team’s Facebook page had received numerous complaints regarding images from the 2013 calendar, before the page was temporarily deleted this week. “Facebook has unpublished our page a few times since we created it, due to what it deemed ‘inappropriate images,’” she told The Huffington Post.

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Team members felt that they were being unfairly punished.

“We have worked hard to create a tasteful and artistic calendar in which the girls bodies are strategically covered,” rower Frankie Salzano told HuffPost. “The photographs we feel are an accurate representation of an athletic female body, something to be celebrated and not shunned, especially because there are Facebook pages that are degrading to the female form.”

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“All of the girls are strategically covered up and our calendar has been praised for [that],” recent Warwick graduate Hettie Reed told HuffPost UK. “The photos are no different from the holiday snaps of men and women that appear on everyone’s Facebook feeds.”

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After receiving hundreds of messages from supporters of the Warwick team, Facebook overturned the ban on the page early Friday morn

The 2014 calendar is available here.

‘Dead’ girl wakes up in coffin during her own funeral

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A 3-year-old girl who was pronounced dead after a fever woke up a day later — in a coffin, during her funeral ceremony.

Police confirmed the incredible incident to the Philippine Star , after footage of the child seemingly rising from the dead at the church service in Bayabas went viral over the weekend.

Citing accounts of the girl’s parents, Police Senior Inspector Heidil Teelan said the toddler was taken to a local hospital on Friday after suffering a severe fever.

“During that time, the attending clinic personnel and physician confirmed that the young patient had no more pulse and was clinically dead last Saturday morning about 9 a.m.,” Teelan said.

The grave error was only discovered when a funeral attendee removed the cover of the girl’s coffin and saw her head move.

Teelan said the parents immediately gave the girl water and rushed her to a clinic for a check-up.

Pouty husband sends his wife a spreadsheet detailing her failures in bed

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Reddit user throwwwwaway29 has a husband, and her husband is fed up. He is so fed up that this morning he sent her an email that contained the above spreadsheet, detailing all the times she has denied him sex over the course of the last month or so.

The wife explains:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.

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Look man, every marriage is different when it comes to settling on an acceptable fucks-per-month quota. But it’s never a good idea to voice your displeasure at where that fucks-per-month number currently sits via a passive aggressive email and a spreadsheet detailing your wife’s alleged frigidity.

Good work italicizing all the yeses in there, though. We can almost hear the echos from you high-fiving yourself when you typed those in.

What happens if you don’t pay your garbage bill? You get a refund…on your lawn

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What do you do if you’re a trash hauler with customers who don’t pay their bills?

redwing_trash-630x473In Red Wing, you give them some trash back.

A trash hauler dumped almost two tons of trash on a customer’s driveway in retaliation for an unpaid bill, the Rochester Post Bulletin reports.

The city, apparently, had to clean it up, which will cost Paul’s Industrial Garage $735, in addition to the $1,800 fine.

“I opened my car door … and the smell was incredible,” Red Wing City Council member Peggy Rehder said during Monday’s city council meeting. “This was a very deliberate action that neighbors watched go on. They watched a phone call being made and then garbage being dumped … which threatens the health and safety of the neighborhood. I view this as very serious business.”

The trash had been sitting in a roll-off at the site for six weeks.

The company says it lost nearly $1,500 in business by having the roll-off tied up with a customer who wasn’t paying for it.

Holy crab! Rare, weirdly colored crustaceans found in Norton Sound

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The red king crab that wasn’t red appeared in Nome on the Fourth of July.

Biologist Scott Kent was getting ready to go salmon fishing in the Norton Sound when he ran into commercial crab fisherman Frank MacFarland, who was delivering his latest catch.

Crabs0053x2“I got one of those blue ones,” MacFarland told him. The fisherman held up the specimen so Kent, assistant area management biologist for the state Department of Fish and Game in Nome, could see.

The crab’s shell was a deep periwinkle, likely the result of a naturally occurring genetic mutation, Kent said. The rare discovery thrilled Norton Sound fishery managers and biologists in the Northwest Alaska city.

Recognizing the crab’s distinctiveness, MacFarland delivered it to the Norton Sound Seafood Center and told plant managers not to sell it. For now, it’s scuttling around the center’s 350-gallon live tank, where assistant plant manager Justin Noffsker is caring for it.

“It’s kind of the color of a forget-me-not,” said Noffsker, referring to the vivid blue of the Alaska state flower. Red king crabs are normally, you know, red.

Noffsker said he’s never seen anything like this bluish variety. In his 11 years with the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, Kent had never seen a blue red king crab either — only in photographs from the mid-1980s.

In September, during a pot survey in Cape Nome, Kent saw his first white red king crab, another rare coloration believed to be caused by a genetic mutation. He has also recently seen piebald crabs, spotted with irregular patches of white. Another had a red carapace but yellow legs.

All the variations are considered to be the kind of “normal, random, very rare” mutations that occur within animal populations, Kent said. The environment and the crab’s diet could play a role, he said, but he doubts it.

MacFarland’s crab “looked like a very healthy crab to me,” Kent said.

Reported sightings of the irregularly colored crabs have increased alongside the growth of Norton Sound research, Kent said, including more rigorous sampling of crabs caught in the region. That includes a spring tagging study and a summer observer program.

Fishermen too are doing a better job at pointing out unusual animals, Kent said.

It’s certainly not the first recent sighting of a blue red king crab. Or lavender, depending on the eye of the beholder. In January, wholesalers in Hokkaido, Japan, found one in a Russian shipment.

“‘Mutant’ lavender king crab found,” exclaimed a New York Post headline.

MacFarland couldn’t be reached for an interview but Noffsker said the fisherman was interested in eventually having the animal mounted for display by a taxidermist.

For the area biologists, these types of discoveries are what the job is all about.

“It just triggers your inherent curiosity, as a biologist, about the unknown in the world,” Kent said.

Generous ‘Turtle Boy’ Has Gone Through Shell And Back

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n-TURTLE-BOY-largeAn 8-year-old Colombian boy got a new lease on life three years ago when his gigantic mole – that accounted for 20 percent of his body weight – was surgically removed.

Now, Didier Montalvo, who was labeled “Turtle Boy” when the shell-like growth on his back made headlines, is helping other kids affected by the rare condition.

The Daily News reports on Montalvo and his mother’s appearance on ITV Thursday morning:

His mother Luz said: “He felt very bad before the surgery, it impeded him from doing a lot of the activities he enjoyed doing.

“When he heard people calling him ‘Turtle boy’ he felt very sad and he would ask “Why do I have this?” It was a very difficult question to answer.

“We always had hope that something would be done.”

o-TURTLE-BOY-570Doctors diagnosed him in 2011 with congenital melanocytic nevus, a rare mole condition. Worrying that the growth might become malignant, surgeons in the U.K. removed it. Months later, Montalvo was speechless when he got to see his normally shaped torso.

Not only is he a happy kid these days, but he’s been traveling from his Colombia home to the U.K. to meet and cheer on other people affected by CMN. He met Jodi Whitehouse, who set up a chairty called Caring Matter Now to support children in the U.K. with the condition. She told This Morning:

“We support around 400 families in the UK and internationally, and we offer support days, support pack fro parents and for teachers and staff at schools, it’s a real network and children are now growing up knowing they are not alone, like Didier thought he was. Coming to the UK he has met children for the first time who also have the condition.”

The boy and his mother have reportedly been staying with a South American family in London whose four-year-old son also has the condition.

Veronica Chaos is definitely taking ventriloquism into new places — like the bedroom.

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For the past year, the 26-year-old former stripper has been doing online ventriloquism shows that climax with her having sex with a dummy, “Slappy.”

“He’s bad cop and I’m good cop. He’s the misogynist and I’m the battered wife,” is how she describes their dynamic to The Huffington Post. “The idea is, I put up with him because I love him so much.”

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The sex shows are designed to be slightly creepy. They usually involve scenarios with Slappy in the role of Willie Wonka while Chaos is an Oompa Loompa, or Slappy as Sherlock Holmes to Chaos’ Dr. Watson.

“Sometimes, we’ll do a ‘Freaky Friday’ thing where we switch bodies,” she said. “I dress him up like me and I dress like him.”

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Chaos, who only gives her address as somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, does her kinky ventriloquism shows three times a week online. The idea of combining ventriloquism with sex came in a moment of desperation when she realized she needed a gimmick to stick out in the crowded online sex show market.

“There were only 10 to 20 people in my ‘room’ at any given time, and I found my site ranking falling every day. It was time for something new,” she told Cracked.com.

One day, when Chaos was looking at YouTube videos, she saw a ventriloquist and inspiration struck.

“Honestly, I was just really lonely and wanted someone to talk to,” she toldCracked.com.

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At first, Chaos tried a raven puppet, but it wasn’t until one of her regular paying customers bought her Slappy, based on a character from the “Goosebumps” children’s book series, that her career path took shape.

Chaos didn’t have sex with Slappy at first. She used him as a way to keep herself inspired during sex shows that lasted between six to eight hours a night.

Eventually, she crossed that line and started attaching sex toys to various parts of Slappy. She even had a customized harness created that could hold a sex toy around her dummy’s pretend pelvis.

Since word got out about her kinky puppet shows, Chaos’ cam room crowds have increased from an average of 10 or 20 people to several hundred at a time. She declines to say how much she earns having puppet sex.

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But Chaos doesn’t always perform with Slappy.

“You can’t do ventriloquism for six hours a night,” she told HuffPost. “I tried once and lost my voice. Sometimes, he just chills out in the back while I talk with people.”

Chaos has performed on stage as well, but says the performances are a little different.

“We sing a duet and I give him oral sex,” she said. “I debated whether I should do full penetration, but it takes a while to get him into me and that’s difficult when I’m also singing a song.”

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Chaos admits her relationship with Slappy is definitely shocking, but says it’s paid off in her private life.

“I’m better able to express what I want sexually,” she said. “If the guy knows I have sex with a puppet, he won’t be shocked about anything I suggest.”

Chaos is considering other ways to advance her career through ventriloquism, but believes she has a long way to go before her act is ready for prime time.

“I’ve done live performances, but I see the camming as a chance to practice,” she said. “I’m not sure I’m ready for the stage.”

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She is striving to improve her abilities. Next week, she’ll go to Cincinnati, Ohio, to attend the annual VentHaven Convention, the world’s largest event for ventriloquists.

“This year, the theme is comedy writing and I’d like to get into the mainstream by being more conversational and less having sex with my dummy,” Chaos said.

She’s a little nervous and plans to keep a low profile at what is billed as a very family-friendly event.

“I’ve never actually met another ventriloquist and I don’t want them to look at me as the woman who ruined ventriloquism,” she said.