Man accused of punching, throwing brick at woman during birthday party

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A Bradenton man was charged with punching and throwing a brick at a woman during a birthday party, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

1d8WRP.AuSt.69Christopher Johnson, 45, was arrested at 11:34 p.m. Saturday at his home. According to a report, an intoxicated Johnson became enraged when the ex of one of the women at the party showed up. Deputies said Johnson begam screaming at everyone to leave his house.

As people were leaving, Johnson rushed at the victim and began punching her for no particular reason. According to a report, the victim fell on the ground and Johnson then picked up a brick and threw it at her stomach.

Deputies said everyone at the party intervened to protect the victim, who sustained a bloody lip from the incident. They began hitting Johnson and pulling him off her. At that point, deputies said a second victim jumped in and was bitten in the hand by Johnson. The second victim suffered a small laceration, according to the sheriff’s office.

Johnson fled the scene and later returned, according to a report.

He was charged with two counts of battery and was released Sunday from Manatee County jail on bonds totaling $1,000.

Nonsexual cuddle parties catching on in Utah

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dt.common.streams.StreamServerNonsexual cuddle parties are catching on in Utah, attracting people who crave the human touch without having to engage romantically with others.

The Salt Lake Tribune reports three chapters of a national “cuddle party” organization where relative strangers meet up for massages, spooning and caresses.

Participants must keep their clothes on and ask permission before cuddling.

Pamela Bradford says she got involved in cuddle parties after moving to Utah in 2013. Bradford is divorced and says once her kids moved out of her house, she went months without human touch except through accidental encounters.

She says she researched touch therapies and started to help organize regular cuddle parties in Utah.

I’M A SEX SLAVE TO A HORNY TOKOLOSHE!

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MAGEZI Chauke says every night when he sleeps a horny tokoloshe creeps into his bed and starts caressing him.

The tokoloshe starts by kissing his lips before giving him a blow job. Sometimes they have sex all night long, he says.

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The 22-year-old from Makuleke Village, outside Malamulele in Limpopo, told Daily Sun the tokoloshe has been tormenting him since he was a teenager.

Definition:

In Zulu mythology, Tikoloshe, Tokoloshe or Hili is a dwarf-like water sprite. It is considered a mischievous and evil spirit that can become invisible by drinking water. Tokoloshes are called upon by malevolent people to cause trouble for others. At its least harmful a tokoloshe can be used to scare children, but its power extends to causing illness and even death upon the victim. The way to get rid of him is to call in the n’anga (witch doctor), who has the power to banish him from the area.

“This merciless tokoloshe has turned me into a sex slave. I used to enjoy it, but it’s become too much every night,” he said. “When she comes to my bed I try to move away but she becomes angry and hypnotises me. She only leaves in the early hours of the morning.”

Magezi said he usually makes sure his schoolwork is finished before midnight to avoid the tokoloshe disturbing him.

“When she visits me she is dressed in a short skirt. She’s tall and light in complexion. He has not told his family about his problem but came to the People’s Paper so he can get help from a sangoma or prophet.

Traditional healer N’waxitlhagoma Maluleke (63) said: “Some evil people are after this young man’s future. The tokoloshe keeps visiting him to disturb his education. I would advise the family to get a sangoma so Magezi can get muthi to bath with.

“If he does this the tokoloshe won’t visit him any more.”

Man says he has world’s longest cucumber and pickle

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The record for the world’s longest cucumber might belong to a Kelowna, B.C., man who’s also vying to have the longest pickle on the planet.

CPT503_Longest_Cucumber_20150901Daniel Tomelin, 54, said his garden has produced the king of all cucumbers, somehow splitting off from the crowd and going above and beyond his wildest expectations.

“I let the thing grow and it was just starting to touch the ground and I was kind of saying, ‘What is the world’s largest cucumber?’ I didn’t even have a clue.”

He looked online, at the Guinness World Records site, where he learned the record for the longest cucumber is 105 centimetres, or about 41.5 inches.

He said he was gobsmacked when his cuke measured 42.5 inches.

The cucumber measured 113 centimetres, or 44.5 inches, on Monday, two weeks after he filed his application.

Tomelin decided he would pickle the cucumber and also made a claim for the longest pickle in the world in a category that doesn’t exist.

Then he bought two long vases and fashioned them into one big vessel to use as a pickle jar for the dark- and light-green-striped cucumber of the painted serpent variety.

“I used my big rock saw and cut the base off of one and I glued the two together. So now it’s four feet high. And I’ve taken the base that I cut off (to use) as a lid for it,” he said of the makeshift pickle jar.

Two local gardening experts have measured his cucumber and verified his claim, Tomelin said, adding Guinness World Records has notified him that his application for the cucumber will be processed in about six weeks.

It will be about 12 weeks before he hears back about the pickle, Tomelin said.

His garden — which includes 40 to 50 varieties of tomatoes — is hearty, but he doesn’t use any “steroids” to grow his vegetables, Tomelin said.

“I’ve been doing this for more than 30 years so I’ve perfected various tricks for planting in thick organic matter.”

The secret to his success is deep-mulch gardening, which uses leaves and doesn’t allow the soil to be exposed, Tomelin said.

He collects up to 300 bags of leaves in the fall and dumps them in the ground, and that prevents up to 70 per cent less water loss, Tomelin said, adding he doesn’t do any weeding. As for the tilling, the worms and micro-organisms do that.

He said all he has to do is pre-start the plants in the spring, after the snow has melted, when the soil has been compacted and not yet exposed to temperature changes.

“The worms and the microbes have been partying hard all winter long. So the soil is super soil and anything planted in it, they’re the happiest plants on the face of the planet.”

Tomelin said his garden has been nominated for a green-thumb award by the local chapter of the national Communities in Bloom program and is becoming known locally for the giant cucumber.

“It’s just a little miracle that happened in my garden,” Tomelin said of his prized cucumber. “I have all kinds of miracles happen in that place.”

Man suffering from constipation for 10 years has 11-pound stool removed

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indegestionA 27-year-old man who was suffering from severe constipation for 10 years underwent surgery to remove a large stool from his colon.

The unidentified patient was evaluated at Second People’s Hospital in Chengdu, China, after complaining of stomach pain, Central European News (CEN) reported. While he had been admitted for the same pain previously, doctors had been unable to diagnosis the cause.

A series of X-rays revealed that the patient’s heart had shifted to the right because his colon had swelled to twice the normal size, CEN reported. Doctors diagnosed him with congenital megacolon, which can cause paralysis of the movements of the bowel and can sometimes lead to fecal tumors.

Surgeons later removed an 11-pound stool that had lodged itself in the patient’s colon and caused his severe pain. He is currently in recovery, CEN reported.