10 reasons why you should NEVER get married…

Blogging sensation Emily Hartridge – the  online presenter who gained global notoriety thanks to the success of her 10  Reasons Why video series – has posted her latest installment imparting wisdom to  men and women everywhere.

The newest video blog – entitled 10 reasons  why you should never get married – follows on from an earlier post, where Emily  pontificated in in 10 reasons why we really should aim to marry (regular sex,  the fact that married women don’t need to work as much as before, and the fact  that you won’t die alone).

Don't do it! Marriage is a terrible idea, says Emily HartridgeDon’t do it! Marriage is a terrible idea, says 10  reasons video blogger Emily Hartridge

Thanks to her frank and upfront style,  Emily’s previous posts, on Huffington Post and YouTube, have attracted over  1,340,000 visitors, with topics like Why Women Love Bad Boys and Why Women Watch  Porn proving to be provocative talking points for her fans.

 

This week though, it is all about why  marriage is a bad idea.

‘People don’t expect me to be positive – so  I’m back being myself with a negative spin on something,’ she says.

A lifetime of toil: What happens to women once they get married, according to EmilyA lifetime of toil: What happens to women once they get  married, according to Emily

Emily launches the debate  with the reason that no one likes being told what to do. ‘When you get married,  you have free reign to  boss the s*** out of your partner,’ she complains.

TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T  GET MARRIED

1) Getting  married gives your partner free reign to boss you about

2) Getting married because you’re ‘at that  age’ is b*******

3) Marriage  won’t complete you as a person

4) You’ll only be with one person for the  rest of your life

5) Marriage  means endless cleaning up after a man

6) Married couples are more unhappy and  dissatisfied sexually

7) You have  to change the sheets every other week

8) D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

9) You have  to be more caring and sharing

10) You have to share the  bed

Secondly, she complains that too many people  get married because they feel like they are ‘at that age’ .

‘There’s no age limit to marriage,’ she says.  ‘And you don’t need to feel left out.’

She points out with her trademark candour  that being with the same person for the rest of your life scares the s*** out of  her – and remarks that yes, that is usually something people expect those with a  penis to say – but that people with vaginas can feel that way too.

In number five, Emily acts out the dread  common to all emancipated women: the cliched notion that marriage simply means a  lifetime of cleaning up after a Neanderthal bloke.

Sex is an issue too. While it was reported on  the internet that married couples have sex 96 times a year compared with the  paltry 46 times that singletons are said to have sex, Emily discoverd that the  ‘study’ showed that nonetheless, married couples were unhappier and less  satisfied sexually.

Go figure.

Having to be more sharing and caring is an  issue for Emily – ‘I’m not a sharer in  anything, besides toothpaste and toilet paper’, as is divorce, and having to  change your sheets every other week (is that how often I’m supposed to change  them anyway? she asks).

Ultimately, Emily paints a pretty convincing  case against getting wed. Until the end, that is.

‘In your face. No one single wants to get  married, no one single wants to get married, no one single wants to get  married… I think I’m lying a little bit.’

WATCH TEN  REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T GET MARRIED HERE:

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