Turns out it’s legal to have a weapon of mass conception at the airport.
Jonah Falcon was stopped and frisked by the TSA at the San Francisco International Airport on July 9 because of a bulging package hidden in his pants. But the 41-year-old New Yorker wasn’t packing a dirty bomb, drugs or a Costco-sized tube of toothpaste. The New Yorker has the world’s largest recorded penis.
In an exclusive interview with The Huffington Post, Falcon described his hard times with security guards after his extra carry-on became suspect.
“I had my ‘stuff’ strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time,” said Falcon, whose penis is 9 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. “One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, ‘Yes.’”
Falcon said he knew that his interview was about to get a lot more personal when he was led through one of the X-ray body scanners and passed a metal detector.
“Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth,” Falcon said, laughing.
Indeed he did have a growth.
By the age of 18, Falcon knew he had something special when his manhood reached a whopping 12 inches. His family jewel was hailed as the world’s largest on record after an HBO documentary featured him in 1999. The Guinness Book of World Records does not record such feats, but Falcon did show his standout feature to Huffington Post executive editor Buck Wolf.
Falcon has been contacted by porn companies (though he’s never accepted) and has been featured on just about every talkshow in the country.
As he passed through airport security, Falcon said a younger security guard felt threatened by his “very noticeable” package — and interpreted it as a biological threat.
“I said, ‘It’s my dick,’” Falcon said. “He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing.”
The screener gave up the extensive search without so much as a blush or a smile. Falcon made his flight back to New York on time.
But he learned something that day. The hardened traveler has a new game plan for airport security.
“I’m just gonna wear bike shorts from now on,” Falcon said. “That way, they’ll know. You’d think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not.”
TSA officials at the San Francisco International Airport did not return calls for comment.