This Python Ate A Porcupine …. There Were No Survivors


These are photos of the aftermath of a 12-foot South African python that tried to swallow a 30-poud porcupine.



A week after these photos were taken, park rangers found it dead. Apparently, it had fallen off a ledge. But why would that kill a snake? When the rangers opened the snake up, they discovered the answer.

It had eaten a 30 pound porcupine, whose quills probably pierced its digestive tract in the fall, and killed it.

Masseuse Denied Client “Happy Ending,” So He Took Matters Into His Own Hands


After being denied a “happy ending” at a South Carolina massage business, an aggrieved customer took matters into his own hands, according to cops who are searching for the sexual exposure suspect.

massagescpicAs detailed in a police report, the suspect received a $68 massage and a $20 “table shower” Saturday evening at Tai Chi Massage in Myrtle Beach.

At the conclusion of the treatment, the man asked a masseuse for a “happy ending.” The employee, cops noted, was “unsure of what that meant,” so the suspect “made a stroking/masturbating motion with his hand near his genital area.”

When a “happy ending” was not forthcoming, the man “got upset, put his clothes on” and walked into the lobby of the massage business. The suspect then sat on a bench and “pulled his penis out” and began masturbating in front of the masseuse.

The man demanded that the victim look at him while “he was conducting the sexual act and stated that he wanted a ‘happy ending,’” police allege.

The suspect–who did not pay for the massage and shower–then departed the business and drove away in a red van with North Carolina license plates.

Police describe the masturbator as a white male between the ages of 40 and 50. The suspect, who has shoulder-length hair, weighs between 150 and 170 pounds, and is of average height.

McDonald’s Drive-Thru Worker Fired For Dousing Homeless Detroit Man With Drink


A McDonald’s worker who doused a homeless man with liquid after luring him to the drive-thru window with the promise of a free sandwich has been fired by the owner of the Detroit franchise.

Video of the incident–shot by a passenger in an auto at the drive-thru window–went viral in the past few days. The NSFW video includes cursing and the use of racial slurs.

As seen in the above clip, the McDonald’s employee says to the homeless man, “Hey, Willie, come here. You want a sandwich?” While dangling a burger out the window, the worker adds, “I’m about to help you.”

But when “Willie” approaches the window, the worker pulls back the food and instead throws a cup of liquid on him. This causes great delight for the car’s passengers, one of whom gleefully responds with the obligatory, “WorldStar! WorldStar!”

After getting drenched, “Willie” asks, “Oh, why you do that?”

In announcing the worker’s termination, franchise owner Wise Finley today issued a statement saying that he was “very disturbed by the inappropriate behavior of this employee.” He added that workers are expected to “treat everyone with dignity and respect.”

Cops On Hunt For Convenience Store Twerker And Her Handsy Accomplice


Have you seen this twerker (or her equally scantily-clad cohort)?

Police in Washington, D.C. today released the above store surveillance video in an attempt to get the public’s help in identifying two suspects in a third-degree sexual abuse case.

According to cops, the women were videotaped accosting a male customer around 4 PM on Wednesday, October 7. One woman can be seen attempting to “twerk” upon the victim, while the other suspect repeatedly grabs at the man’s crotch and attempts to kiss him.

The “persons of interest” are each dressed in the kind of revealing outfits that would not be out of place at a strip club.

Anyone with details about the suspects is asked to call police at (202) 727-9099. Information leading to the arrest and conviction of the duo could result in a reward from Crime Solvers of Washington, DC.

Man Shoved Grandmother, 82, To Ground After Being Denied Ability “To Buy Cake”


tanzeradamA Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the ground Saturday night after he was denied a “debit card he needed to buy cake,” police allege.

Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly victim during a dispute inside a residence in Palm Harbor, a community about 25 miles west of Tampa.

According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground “in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands and hip.

Tanzer was allegedly angry that his mother “took away his debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and caused Bliss to fall on her hip.”

The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by Bliss, who required medical treatment.

Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with his grandmother.